Vivi: Twenty-Three Weeks

Vivi has been a bit of a crab apple this week.  She's not sleeping as well, and she wants to be carried constantly.  

The no dairy thing was going great, but then I forgot that there's cheese in pesto until after I ate it all.  Now she's got a horrible rash again.  I'm not sure if that small amount of cheese caused it, or if she's allergic to something else I'm eating.  I just need to wait another week or so for the cheese to pass through in order to tell. Either way, it's pretty frustrating.  Moo!  

After last week's hold out, she finally pooped on the tenth day!  She's been regular ever since.  Lots of red-faced grunting around these parts.  

I made some baby applesauce this week.  She doesn't like it nearly as much as she likes bananas.  She made a few faces when I first scooped it in her mouth.  But, she is eating it.  

She hates being left out of anything.  She wants to sit on Eric's lap all through dinner otherwise she grunts, moans, and screams dramaticaly.  He found out that she loves his water glass.  She rubs her hands all over it and tries to eat it.  She must like the cold.  

Tonight, she sat in a high chair while we ate dinner for the first time.  She liked being closer to us and whined a lot less.  I fed her some mashed bananas between bites of my own food.  She seemed very content with that arrangement.    

She is sitting beautifully and is able to balance on her own for a minute or more before wobbling to the side.  

She watches Madeline all the time.  She loves to "play" with her.  The two of them roll around on the floor together.  Vivi loves to grab and gnaw on her sister.  

Cuties!  

Dancing with Vivienne

When Madeline was a very little baby, I'd dance her around the living room every afternoon before nap time.  The music, movement, and snuggling always lulled her to sleep.

Vivi doesn't get the dance treatment before her nap time.  Sometimes she drifts off while nursing, but mostly she's left to fall asleep in her crib or in her rocker while I zoom around the house trying to get other stuff done.  It's tough being the second child.  

Madeline still holds roughly eighty percent of my attention and thoughts.  This is partially because I've had a lot of practice worrying over Madeline in the past three-and-a-half years.  Partially because Madeline demands a lot of attention...loudly.  Partially because it's easy to function on auto-pilot while taking care of a baby.  Change her, rock her, feed her, repeat.  Meanwhile, my brain is elsewhere.  

I'm not saying this is necessarily bad, and I certaintly love Vivi just as dearly as her sister.  This is just how it has to be.  Yet, when I catch Vivi so sweetly and quietly watching my every movement from across the room, my mommy guilt comes knocking. 

Today, Vivi had a tough time settling down for her nap.  After I finished tidying the kitchen, I scooped her up for some snuggles.  Madeline usually comes to around the second she sees me with Vivi, but she was happily engrossed with a game in the playroom.

As I held Vivi, she didn't wiggle against me or crane her neck to observe the room as she usually does.  Instead, she rested her cheek heavily against my shoulder and sighed. 

I brought her into the kitchen and we danced to the music I had playing.  She didn't move at all as I swayed and spun her around.  Her whole body stayed relaxed and heavy in my arms.  I glanced in the mirror a few times, certain she'd be sleeping only to find her eyes wide open.  

We danced through so many songs I lost count.  We danced until my arms ached and my back grew sore.  When I gently put her down nearly an hour later, she looked up at me and cried.  She didn't want to stop.  

Parenting is a demanding, and often thankless, job.  But it's moments like these, when you realize that this little person loves and needs you more than anything else in the entire world, that make it all so worth it.  

Vivi: Twenty-Two Weeks

I've been 100% dairy free since Monday. It's not so bad except I'd be much more psyched for my salad if there was cheese involved.  Obviously....cause....CHEESE.

I decided to go completely dairy free even though I don't really have to because I want to see if there's truly a difference in Vivi's health.  Plus, I want to make sure there aren't any other hidden allergens lurking.  Otherwise I'd blame every side effect on dairy when it could really be dairy and wheat for example  Please no.  Just.  No.  

So far, I don't see much of a difference in Vivi, but I'm told it takes a while to get results.  All those dairy proteins are still mooing wildly through our bodies at this point.  Apparently it can take a whole month to tame those cows.

Meanwhile, I'm the mom who obsesses over her child's poop.  Last week, after the great formula incident, Vivi was a little too regular.  But now? We're going on eight days.  This isn't really unusual as Vivi has always been a once-a-week-er, but I'm anxious to see what it looks like after changing my diet the past few days.  I know, I don't like myself either when I'm like this.  It's not a pretty picture.  It's gonna be epic when it finally does happen though.  Toats ma goats.

In other news, Vivi is developing a sense of humor.  Vivi has been a serious baby through her life thus far.  Her facial expressions and general demeanor remind me of a little scientist earnestly studying the mysteries of the world. This week, however, she's exhibiting the sillies.  

She laughs a lot.  She likes it when I make funny voices and shake my head.  She gets that we're playing a game and will start smiling and wiggling before I even start tickling her.  Her screams of glee sound just like Madeline's.   It's pretty awesome.    

The girl is also very grabby.  She can yank on a chunk of hair like it's a competitive sport.  Ouch!  She has pulled an entire plate of food onto my lap.  She tweaks Madeline's nose and claws at her cheeks.  I have to be careful when changing her diaper because she will grab for the diapers, wipes, and cream like they are snacks.  No, no.  We don't eat our dirty diapers, thank you.  

I gave her a bit of banana this week.  She loved it!  She growled with pleasure, lunged at the spoon, and tried to pull the bowl out of my hands.  Then she took a three-hour nap.  She was just so satisfied.  The poor girl still nurses every two hours, has a dairy allergy, and is a skinny little thing, so I often feel like my breast milk is just not enough for her.

We've been practicing sitting up independently.  When Maddie was a baby, Eric just kept propping her up and letting her fall over till she figured it out.  I didn't like it at the time, but then I came home from work one day to find Madeline sitting on our bed smiling at me while Eric sat in a chair next to her playing video games.  So now, we're following the same method with Vivi!  I sit her up on my bed, she balances for a few moments, then topples over.  Madeline thinks it's hilarious, and Vivi is really close to sitting unsupported.

Sleep is better, but still touch and go.  She's sleeping through the night more often, but a few times a week she wakes up to eat constantly.  Getting her down is still rough.  Girl has lungs and a temper.

We'll be moving her from our room into the girls' room soon.  My mind boggles at the idea of this.  I can't imagine how we will get our two girls to sleep in the same room successfully with any of us getting any kind of sleep.  Madeline still sings herself to sleep most nights, and Vivi is a light sleeper.  Plus, Vivi's bedtime is a full hour before Madeline's.  Usually just as Vivi is falling asleep, Madeline is heading up to bed. If anyone has any suggestions, that would be great.

We love you, Little Viv.  My heart literally aches when you smile at me first thing in the morning.  You're such a treasure.  

Today

May today bring rain, thunder, and high winds.  

Let us be cooped up in the house watching The Cat in the Hat repeatedly.

Let Madeline whine about being cold but refuse to wear long sleeves or socks.  

Let Vivi's bouncy seat run out of batteries and Piggy Blimp fail to amuse her.

Let juice spill on the floor, and then let Madeline use an entire roll of paper towels to try and wipe it up.  

Let us listen to Let it Go twenty times in a row.  

Let me find yogurt on the underside of every surface in the kitchen. 

Let Madeline's hair have extra tangles and my eyebrows be extra bushy.

Let no snack in the house be what Madeline is craving, and let Vivi spit up on my freshly changed shirt.

Let all this come upon us today.  

Just please, please, please let Vivienne poop.

Little People Probs

We have a little problem.  A Little People problem to be specific.  Fisher Price's Little People to be even more specific.  We do not have actual little people wandering the halls of our house like Munchkin Land.  Scratch that.  First, it's probably offensive.  Secondly, Madeline and Vivi are little and are people. Anyhow.  I think you get what I'm saying.  Here's a visual just to be sure:

Yup, that them there's a LOT of Little People.  

Eric and I both had the original esophagus-sized Little People when we were kids, but were lucky enough to survive to adulthood without choking on them anyhow. Somewhere along the line, our nostalgia may have gotten out of control.  Then they started releasing little Cinderella Little People and little Batman Little People, and we just could not resist the cute!  

We really only had a second child because Madeline is starting to outgrow them.  I kid.  Mostly.  

I left about ten of the little guys behind at a restaurant a few weeks ago. (There was a poop disaster and a fire alarm incident happening simultaneously...my mind was occupied elsewhere.)  When I realized my mistake, Eric and I almost cried.  (Madeline didn't notice that they were gone.) No more Mimi and Bob Little People?!  Poor Flynn Ryder, Dopey, and Superman!  

Thankfully, the restaurant had them stored away in its safe.  I may have cried tears of joy. Crisis averted!  

Our loss would have been extra tragic because Fisher Price just changed the design again.  The newest Little People are taller and skinnier.  

I don't get it. Are they on a juice cleanse? Have they been eating Kale nuggets? Is this part of the effort to fight childhood obesity?  Perhaps they should talk to Barbie about their body issues cause we liked them short and chubby!  

And so, the scouring and hoarding of leftover chubby Little People has begun.  We look for them everywhere, and if they have some cool ones we don't already have, we scoop 'em up. 

We have a few neatly tucked away in the closet waiting for the next holiday/birthday.  Vivi is going to be getting chubby Little People for her sweet sixteen.

Great, Mom and Dad...a Little People dump truck driver...Yeah, I was kinda hoping for a car, but this is cool too...I guess.  

Yes, I know we sound like crazy people.  Yes, this is clearly a First World Problem. But until you feel the stininging regret I feel over letting the chubby pirate ship set slip through our fingers, you can't possibly understand.  

Twenty-one Weeks or Why I'm Not Eating Ice Cream This Very Second

After months of suspicion and speculation, Vivi has been diagnosed with a dairy allergy.  Excuse me while I go cry into my bowl of not ice cream. 

We've suspected dairy to be the culprit for a while, and I've seriously cut back on the amount I eat.  Still, I have at least some dairy (milk in my coffee, for example...sometimes two, maybe three bowls of ice cream) every day.  Yet, Vivi's symptoms don't appear daily.  Most days she's fine.  Because of this, and because I'm stubborn, I was hesitant to blame Bossie the Cow too quickly.  

Last week, I introduced rice cereal for the first time.  I mixed it with formula, which we've given her before without incident.  But here's the rub.  Vivi won't take a bottle.  Even though we've given her formula, she hadn't actually  drank much of the stuff.  

She loved her rice cereal, however, and gobbled up quite a bit of formula along with it.  She liked it so much that she had some three days in a row.  Oops.  

On the third day, her facial rash appeared.  That's a sign that she's about to get fussy, so I stopped the solids.  

Then the pooping started.  Epic pooping.  Red-faced, grunting, screaming in pain pooping.  Pooping four or five times a day from a baby who usually only goes once a week.  Then there were chunks of dried blood in her stools.  Poor girl.  

We met with the GI doctor today, and he said these are text-book symptoms of a dairy allergy.  

(Photo by Maddie Bear)

She's pretty much back to her happy self now.  Her cheecks are still red, and she's still pooping more often, but the pain and blood are gone.  

I gained two main insights into Vivi's problem from this unfortunate incident.  One, her sensitivity clearly depends on the amount of dairy consumed.  Some dairy proteins pass through my breast milk without bothering her at all.  It seems it's when I eat ALL the cheese that we have a problem.  I plan on eliminating most dairy from my diet, but the doctor said I didn't need to go crazy worrying about it.  That's a relief on my end.  

Secondly, it takes a long time for the dairy to work its way into her system.  I stopped the formula over a week ago last Wednesday.  The pooping started on Saturday.  The blood appeared this Tuesday.  

Looking back over the past few months, it all makes sense now.  For example, I thought it might be eggs for a long time, but that's probably because I only eat eggs when we go out to breakfast.  And when we go out to breakfast, I usually end up drinking several cups of coffee (with cream) instead of just one.  

It's going to be a long summer of no ice cream and cheese-free pizza on the grill, but I'm happy we finally figured this thing out.  It was frustrating thinking maybe it's dairy, but maybe it's eggs, no, it's kale...I'll just eat cardboard...over the past few months.  

The doctor said 67 percent of babies outgrow this by the time they're one.  Ninety-seven percent by the time they're seven years old.  Let's hope for sooner.  

It would be sad for Vivi to grow up watching the rest of us eat ice cream.  "Here, Viv, you just eat this cup of blended carrots and beets!  It's just as good, we promise!"  

Maddie Bear Says

But if we got a lot, a lot, a lot, of paint and a lot of money then we can paint our house pink!

M: Vivi, do you know why I love you?

Mumma: Why, Madeline?

M: Cause she's my baby.  

M: (playing with her princess figurines) They need rescuing! 

Mumma: They need to figure out how to rescue themselves.

M: Mumma...but Ariel's not smart.

While Mumma's getting dressed, we can play Little People! That's a splendid idea!

(Running down the sidewalk with her arms spread wide.) I'm free! Pasta, pasta, pasta!

M: Mumma, I love you.

Mumma: Aw.  I love you so, so much.

M: I just love you a little bit.

(Coming up the stairs to bed) 

Eric: Remember, no talking cause Vivienne is sleeping. 

M: (Loudly) Dada, when's it my next birthday?

E: shhh

M: (whispering very loudly) Dada, when's it my next birthday?

(Cuddling) 

I love you!  You're the most beautifulest Mumma!

M: It's hard growing up.

Eric: Why?

M: Cause you grow slowwwww.  

Mumma: Yeah.  It's hard to be patient, huh?

Eric: But why do you want to be a grownup?

M: Cause I want a husband.  

The first time I lost Bell I didn't determined to find her.  

(Looking at a box of things we're donating.)

Let's give Vivienne away!  

Letters to Maddie Bear: May, 2014

Dear Madeline,

Hooray, it's warming up at long last, and we've been able to get out more.  This had made a huge difference in your attitude.  We're still dealing with some sass and power struggles, but things are a lot better than they were last month.  Phew!  

First off, you are the funniest human being I have ever met.  You say the craziest things.  You are sarcastic and quick-witted, yet still completely artless.  We laugh a lot in this house.  

You've come out of your shell in many ways.  In the past, you've been very shy. But now you're suddenly saying hi to everyone we meet.  You yell out the window to the kids waiting at the bus stop in the mornings.  You struck up a conversation with a lady at the deli counter yesterday.  Last week you chased a random person at the mall as if he had started a game of tag with you.  He didn't.  All parties involved were very confused.  You just laughed.  I nearly died of embarrassment then tried to explain why we don't chase strangers.  

You love to play.  After briefly watching cartoons in the mornings, you tell me that I can put the news back on while going off to grab some toys.  Every day you ask to play with the boys next door.  You go, go, go from dawn to dusk.  

The biggest problem we're dealing with currently is your listening skills, my dear.  Hey, I know you're just a little kid, but it would be nice if I didn't have to ask you to put your shoes on five times before you actually think about doing it.  

But you're so dreamy...and you're so stubborn.  Following directions is hard for you.  

During ballet, you run around like a maniac or stare off into space, but you very rarely do what the teacher wants you to do.  I'd worry about this less if all the kids in ballet were like this, but they're not.  Still, you claim you love it and look forward to it every week.  

This week I think you did a much better job listening, but you were the last kid to be rewarded a sticker at the end of class.  You weren't in the position the teacher was asking each child to perform in order to get the reward.  Instead of correcting your position, you just kept repeatedly asking for a sticker over the teacher's voice.  It's like she wasn't talking at all. (I feel her pain.) You didn't seem to mind that you were the last, but it made me so sad to watch you standing there just not getting what the problem was.  

I don't care if you ever learn ballet, Maddie Bear.  But I worry about you cause that's what mothers do.  

I'm curious to hear what your preschool teacher has to say (other than you're awesome cause we already know that) at conferences later this week.  

Out of all the three-year-olds in the whole world, I would choose you, Madeline. II think you're the bee's knees.  

Love,

Mumma

Budding Picaso

After months, nay years, of tilting my head this way and that trying to figure out what Madeline's artwork is supposed to be, (other than a pink blob) she drew this today:

I heard her talking to herself: "There's two eyes, a nose, and a mouth.."  I glanced at her paper expecting to see the usual nonsensical squiggles only to see an honest-to-God face!  

I was so proud!  

By the way, she told me it's an alligator, and she added some red ears.  

I kinda think it looks like Vivi.  Just saying...

My little artist!  

Vivi: Twenty Weeks

I've been neglecting the old bloggy-wog terribly lately.  I have no less than five drafts started, but no motivation to finish them.  My brain no work so good these days.  Anyhow, we're doing well...enjoying fresh air, growing healthy babies.  

Vivi is  rolling over regularly now.  Her arm still gets pinned under her most of the time, but she's figuring it out.  It's fun watching her wiggle around.

Meanwhile, she's grabbing everything in sight.  Changing her diaper is already becoming a challenge as she twists her body to reach for the diapers or wipes.  

Poor Madeline has her hair and face tugged on constantly.  And she pulls our plates and silverware off the table if she's on our laps while we're eating.  

Vivi is such a little screech owl.  She screams all the time.  High pitched, ear piercing screams.  I think she gets a kick out of hearing her own voice.  

I gave her a tiny taste of rice cereal this week.  We got the okay at her last physical.  She's so interested in what we're eating that I thought I'd give it a go.  She seemed confused, but ate what I offered her.  I'm not pushing solids full throttle yet though.  Pooping has been a real chore for her ever since.  

Vivi is continuing to be a total Mumma's girl.  Eric tries to put her to bed some nights to give me a break, and it's always a disaster.  She screams hysterically until either I come back or she passes out for the night.  Poor Eric.  She loves her Dada, but she's with me all day every day.  She's used to me.  

Eric had her on his lap a few days ago while I cuddled with Madeline across the room.  Vivi stared intensely at me and screeched the entire time.  She had a look of mixed alarm and outrage on her face.  I didn't realize babies could be jealous, but I think she was.  

Finally, here's  how the bunny pics went today:

She wasn't so sure of Mr. Pink Bunny there for a minute...

Vivi: Nineteen Weeks

The Vivster is getting huge.  Every time I look at her, she seems bigger.  Her head is massive.  Hooray!

She wants to flip over so badly.  I mean soooo badly.  She gets mad when she can't make it happen.  

Today I watched her ever so slowly and purposefully get onto her belly. Then she started crying when she couldn't figure out how to return to her back.  I helped her out, and she cried even louder.  It was as if she was frustrated with me for interfering.  She wanted to do it herself!

She's good at grabbing objects.  We let her hold toys when she's "playing" with Madeline, and we are trying to teach big sister which toys she needs to keep out of Vivi's reach.  Too many tiny figurines that could end up in her mouth.  

There was a long period of time where she was frustrated by the mobile on her bouncy seat because she couldn't reach it.  Now she can get her arms up above her head to swat at those bears like they had it coming.  

She's laughing a lot more.  Sometimes when she catches sight of me across the room she giggles.  I guess I really am that funny looking.  

She's started laughing at our reflection in the mirror this week instead of being freaked out by it.  Baby laughs are my favorite!  

I can't describe how much I enjoy this little lady.  Sometimes I look at her and giggle for no reason.  I guess the feeling is mutual.  Her facial expressions are just so funny, and her face is so cute, and her personality is so quirky.  Sigh, my little drama queen...

Sisters

Vivi became visibly annoyed with Madeline for the first time last week.  Vivi was sitting up on my lap, concentrating desperately on reaching for a toy Eric was holding.  Just as Vivi was about to get her pudgy hands on that stuffed monkey, Maddie trotted over, pushed her head against Vivi's face, and snatched her little sister's hands in her own.

Vivi turned her head toward Maddie in obvious agitation and kinda head butted her away the best she could.  She also tried to gnaw on her face a bit. She reminded me of a puppy.  This was followed by a loud sigh bordering on a growl.  My baby may be part canine.  

Maddie was too busy singing loudly and rubbing her hair against Vivi (which she thinks is hilarious, but must be annoying as heck) to notice the slight, but Eric and I both caught it.  

We told Maddie to give Vivi some space, and the baby eagerly returned to her toy.  

We remind Madeline to not pull on her sister's hands at least three times a day.  She's trying to show affection, but often, it's anything but gentle.  Luckily, babies are stretchy.

Madeline doesn't seem to care about our warnings. She's usually too busy being indignant over not being allowed to "hold" Vivi's hand.  You can hold it, Maddie Bear.  You can not dislocate her shoulder or twist her elbow off.  

Thankfully, most of the time the two of them are really sweet together.  Vivi can interact with us more now, and sometimes she and Madeline just lie on the floor together to play.  Maddie talks to Vivi and shows her toys.  Vivi babbles back and sucks on her hands as she watches her big sister's every move.   

Vivi was crying yesterday, and Madeline started talking to her in a soothing voice. Vivi stopped fussing and smiled.  

"I calmed her down, Mumma!" Madeline boasted proudly.

Madeline shares all of her toys with Vivi without being asked.  She also assumes Vivi is willing to share her baby toys, which she makes evident by taking away the rattle and blocks for herself.   

The only toy Madeline doesn't have to share with Vivi is Olaf.  We've made it clear that Olaf is special and belongs only to her.  Madeline rubs this in Vivienne's face frequently, but I'm pleased to see her sharing him just as often.

  Vivi has her own little bear, but she really wants Olaf.  She's always reaching for him, and she leaves his nose covered in drool. Typical little sister.  

It's so fun watching the sisterly dynamics develop in front of our eyes.  I'm looking forward to watching these two love one another, grow together, and even challenge one another in the years ahead.