On Being Heckled at Walgreens

While standing at the cash register at Walgreens buying a bag of cat food.

Me: Oh look, Crackerjacks! Can we get them?

Eric: Sure, I guess. Is that what you're going to eat for dinner?

Me: No, obviously I'll eat real food too...

Woman at Register: (Laughs) Oh boy, you better get her those crackerjacks.

Me and Eric: (Laughing to be nice.)

Woman: Good thing it's a big bag. Maybe you can stop and get a McChicken on your way home too. She's gonna eat everything. Oh boy, better make sure she doesn't tear into the bag of cat food on the way home and start eating that.

Eric: (Laughing nervously with a look at me as if wondering if I'm going to hit him if he keeps laughing.)

Me: (Death glare at both Eric and Walgreen's Lady.)

Woman: Ha ha! She HUNGRY!! Have a good night!

Back in the car...

Eric: I love coming to this Walgreens...everyone who works here is so strange.

Me: Hardy-har lady, I get it, I'm fat! At least I'm not ugly and work at Walgreens.

Eric: .....wow...

Me: Ohh, that was really mean wasn't it? Oops, I feel bad. I take it back. Sorry Walgreens lady. (Try to open bag with my teeth.) Dammit! Why won't this bag of crackerjacks open?!?!?