Signs my Toddler is Trying to Kill Me

Madeline is usually a very sweet, loving baby girl.  Yet, with more and more frequency, her eyes glass over, she grits her teeth, and her head starts spinning on her shoulders.  Okay, maybe her head doesn't spin...but it sure feels like it does.  It's during these "episodes" that she decides to inflict bodily harm on her poor, suffering parents.  

I heard once that cats scratch when they become overstimulated.  Perhaps that's what we're experiencing.  Her little brain can't handle the stress of toddlerhood anymore.  So much juice!  So much sharing!  So much spinning until dizzy!  After so much stimulation, she decides that someone must suffer.  Naturally, her parents are the perfect target for her rage.

On the other hand, maybe this isn't a typical case of toddlers being toddlers.  Perhaps Madeline really is plotting to kill us..

Evidence:

Kicking:
 
She kicks us while we're changing her diaper.
She kicks us under the dinner table.
She sat on my lap and kicked me in the chin as soon as I got home from school yesterday.
 
Biting:
   
Madeline got in trouble at school for biting once and never did it again.  However, she still thinks it's funny to watch other creatures bite one another. She saw some dogs biting one another the other day, and her reaction was to laugh manically while chanting, "Bite!  Bite!"  She's a baby Michael Vick.

Scratching:

She scratches our hands while we push her in the shopping cart.  
She scratches our hands when we hold her hand in the car.
She also scratched my neck last week while I got her ready for bed.

Pinching:

She pinches my feet while we sit on the couch.
Sometimes she states very calmly, as if she's a doctor about to administer a shot,"I pinch," before doing it.

And the cherry on top?

Last night during dinner she leaned over and stabbed the back of my hand with her fork.  After I explained why it's bad to hurt Mumma and gave her a second chance with the fork....she stabbed me again.  She went forkless at dinner tonight.

Madeline knows she's being bad because as soon as she hurts us, she leans in for a kiss or opens her arms wide for a hug.  It's like she thinks that it's okay to hurt us as long as she balances it out with a kiss or hug.  

I'm so cute!  Don't be mad at me.  Winky face.  

It only works about 50 percent of the time.