Thursday, July 25, 2013

Old Wives Strike Back!

When we first introduced the idea of having a new baby to Madeline, she insisted that it be a sister.  No amount of scientific explanations helped deter her preference for a girl.  But strangely enough, last week she changed her tune.  She is now insistent that she have a little brother instead.

 "I'M the sister!" she demands.

Whether the change in mood is an indication of some sort of Maddie Bear sixth sense, or whether it just means that she realized she'd have to share the girlie limelight with a sister, I'm not sure.

Luckily, we don't have to rely on the gut feelings of toddlers to tell whether this is a pink baby or a blue baby.  If all goes according to plan, we will know the gender by tomorrow afternoon.

My patience has not grown (much) with motherhood, and just like last time, I am way too nosy to wait until December.  After all, I've got a bedroom (or perhaps two) to decorate!

To tide me over until the ultrasound, I've performed a series of experiments on myself to see if old wives' tales really can predict gender.  I did the same thing with Madeline.  You can read that here.  Of course, last time the results came back boy, and Madeline is most certainly a girl.  


Test #1: High or Low

If you carry high, it's a girl; low means boy. I feel like I'm carrying lower than last time. I swear my doctor found the baby's heartbeat in my girlie bits at my last appointment.  What started out as a simple check for a heart beat quickly turned into a pap smear.  

Verdict: Boy

Test #2: Number of Heartbeats

A heart rate below 140 is supposed to be a boy, and above, a girl. We've been at 148-150 at all my appointments so far...which is the exact range Madeline registered as.  

Verdict: Girl

Test #3: Sweet vs. Sour

I find that I crave ALL the food ALL the time.  At this very moment I can't decide if I want cake or potato chips more. Perhaps cake sprinkled with potato chips?

Verdict: Little in the middle but she got much back.

Test #4: Chinese Lunar Calendar

The mother's age at conception and the month of conception are used to create this calendar.

Verdict: Girl

Test #5: Mayan Calendar

The Mayans say if the age of the mother and year of conception are both even, or both odd, then it's a girl. If they are different, then it's a boy.

Verdict: Girl

Test #6: Morning Sickness

If you have morning sickness= girl. No morning sickness = boy. I have never had morning sickness with any pregnancy. Don't hate. Although, so far, I've only had girls...so there goes that theory.  

Verdict: Boy

Test #7: Drano and Urine

Supposedly, if you mix Drano and urine, the color can predict the baby's gender. Last time, I did not perform this test because I thought it was gross.  My gross threshold has increased tenfold since having a child who may or may not wipe her boogers on me from time to time.  However, I skipped this test again this time because I'm writing this from my couch, and I'm way lazy to climb the stairs to the bathroom.  

Verdict: So many stairs...

Test #8: Maternal Glow

If a pregnant woman is looking radiant and shiny and glow-y with fantastic hair, then it's supposed to be a boy. If the mother is looking a little well...like a cat slept on her face, then it's a girl.

Verdict: Girl...sigh...

Test #9: Ring Above the Belly

Hold a ring on a chain over a pregnant woman's belly. If it swings in a circular motion, it's a girl. If it swings back and forth: boy.

Verdict: Boy

There you have it, superstitious old marms. Our baby is more likely to be a girl according to these tried and true methods. Luckily, the second bedroom is already pink.

Still, I think I'll wait for ye old ultrasound for a more direct answer.  

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