Pour Some Sugar on Me

You know that scene from American Beauty with the naked girl in the rose petals?  Well imagine that exact scene except, instead of a hot blond, it's me, and instead of rose petals, I'm lying in a pile of Hershey's Miniatures.

That's right, I passed my three-hour glucose test! Mr. Goodbars for everybody!

I took the test on Friday morning.  Lab waiting rooms are a lot like the DMV.  Everyone there is sick, grumpy, and late for work.  My highlight was watching an old lady across from me flipping through a magazine with disgust.  "This is a porno mag," she spat while turning to the cover to investigate what she was reading.  It was Vanity Fair.

Then, after three hours of poking and prodding, I went home to wait for my results.  And wait I did...all weekend long.

I spent Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and most of Monday in food limbo.  I did my best to research diet plans for gestational diabetes online, but it was all so confusing.  Some plans looked a lot like what I was already eating (minus the cake) while others seemed really strict.  Do I eat fruit or not?  Is dairy good or bad?  How many carbs are allowed?  I figured out the basics, but managing GD seems dependent on the individual and what one's body can tolerate.

Meanwhile, this emotional eater was a raging beast.  What comfort is a stressed pregnant lady supposed to find if chocolate, potato chips, and pumpkin lattes are all off limits?  Don't say "yoga," or I will slap you.  Kale chips dipped in all-natural peanut butter don't help either.  It looked like it was going to be a long third trimester not only for me, but also for my long-suffering husband.

Thankfully, the call that I had passed the three-hour test came this afternoon.  I pranced home and merrily popped a few of the chocolate-covered raisins that had be taunting me from the fridge all weekend in my mouth.

Don't worry, Eric's not going to get home from work to find me passed out on the floor with a chocolate mustache and a piece of half-eaten cake on my chest though.  I did, after all, spend a large part of Sunday afternoon prepping healthy snack and lunch items for the week.  I've got a whole bunch of celery, hard-boiled eggs, and all-natural peanut butter to consume.  But now I can dip those celery sticks in caramel sauce and pair that peanut butter with Fluff .

The eggs are probably best left as is.