Be Happy

It's so easy to get caught up in the grind of work, laundry, and potty training that one forgets to see the people who matter most.  I've felt this way a lot since the beginning of September when life started getting busy and chaotic again.  I spend time with Madeline, I love Madeline, but I don't feel like I'm clearly seeing Madeline.  Does that make any sense?  It's like I'm in some sort of fog.  Instead of processing that she's a human being with her own thoughts and feelings, she just becomes another wheel in the machine of my life....another routine.  I could say the same in regards to Eric.

Yet, for some unknown reason, I had a moment of clarity on Friday night.  Maybe it was due the fact that I had an hour to myself after school...complete with a hot cup of tea and a good book.  Maybe it was the promise of Chinese takeout hanging in the air.  Maybe the simple existence of Friday afternoons lead to a better state of mind.

Eric called to tell me he and Madeline were on their way home.  While there was nothing particularly special about this phone call that lasted under two minutes,  I felt like I was actually hearing him.  The simple sound of his voice made me happier.  Knowing that my family was on their way home reenergized me.

Soon I heard the sound of the key in the lock and Madeline's light feet running in the house to find me.  She curled up under the blanket with me and quietly held my hand.  Her hair smelled like a mixture of baby lotion and sweat, and I felt like I was really seeing her, my Maddie Bear, for the first time in weeks.  

Then later that afternoon, Eric looked up at me suddenly in the middle of opening the mail and said, "You look cute today, babe."  I stooped to give him a quick kiss while Madeline played Legos on the living room floor, and I felt like he was really seeing me.

And much later that night, after Madeline was snoozing soundly in bed and we had had our fill of crab rangoon, I opened a fortune cookie that said this:

It was a nice reminder from the universe.  

It's only Tuesday, but this is shaping up to be the kind of stressful, busy week that makes me want to shred every piece of paper on my desk and leave a note on my door that reads, "Sorry students, your teacher has officially lost her mind. Class is cancelled.  Go away.  Please check back in a week."  Of course I can't do that.  Just because an English teacher is moody and full of baby does not mean that students can escape reading The Odyssey, does it?  

So instead, I'm trying to keep that fortune cookie in mind, set as much stress aside as I can, and remember back to Friday afternoon.  Be happy.