Sisterly Affection...

And by affection, I mean carefully controlled frustration, jealousy, and rage. It's arrived.  

For the first months of Vivi's life, Madeline loved and tolerated her.  Then that baby became mobile, Madeline realized she isn't just a cuddly piece of furniture, and the novelty quickly wore off.  

Madeline is done.  Finished.  She's had enough. 

Vivi knocked over my coffee cup a few days ago.  As I pulled her away from the puddle, I sighed, "Oh, Vivienne, what am I going to do with  you?" 

Without missing a beat, Madeline answered, "Let's put her in the closet."  

The suggestion was made in earnest, and I have no doubt that Madeline would happily store Vivi away in the closet for an afternoon or two.  She wouldn't even feel bad about it.

There's part of me that doesn't blame Madeline one bit.  Now that Vivi can crawl, every time Maddie tries to build a tower, do a puzzle, or draw a picture, Vivi is there to ruin it. Maddie has to share toys that used to be hers.  She gets reprimanded for leaving spilled Cheerios everywhere for Vivi to find.  The smallest toys need to stay out of reach.  Worst of all, in spite of our best intentions, Vivi takes up most of Mumma and Dada's time and energy.  It's hard being the big sister.  

Then last week she knocked Vivi over with the glider in their bedroom, mumbled a very insincere "Sorry, Viv," and just kept right on banging the chair into her baby head.

A day later, there was a thump when I left the room for a moment to put something away.  

"What was that?"  I called as I rushed to its source.

"Vivienne..." Maddie said nonchalantly.

I turned the corner to find Maddie sitting in the Bumbo, (the very same Bumbo her baby sister had just been crawling on a moment before) and Vivi rolling on the floor about to burst into tears.

And that was not the first time I caught Maddie snatching toys away from Vivi or elbowing her out of the way.  

My sympathy for Madeline does not extend to doing her sister bodily harm.  Time outs were had. Tears were shed.  Conversations about the responsibility of being the big sister were repeated.  

Meanwhile, Vivi worships the ground Madeline walks on.  She constantly chases after her, which is annoying for Madeline.  But it's also a little sad for Vivienne when the big sister she loves so much avoids her.  It's not her fault that she's just a little baby who can't do anything but knock over Lego towers.  She wants to play too!  

I'm hoping Madeline will become more receptive to playing as Vivi grows older and less destructive.  Fingers crossed...

In the meantime, we keep some zones Vivi-free for Madeline to escape to.  We build time for Madeline to spend alone with us.  We remind her how much Vivi looks up to her, and we praise all the good big sister things we see her do.  

This morning Maddie was back to sharing Olaf, giving hugs, and helping her walk across the room.  We'll see how long it lasts...