Here We Go Again

If there is such a thing as an "easy" baby, Madeline was not one of them.  This was partially due to our cluelessness as new parents, but poor Maddie Bear was also blessed with reflux issues and colic.  Thinking back to the first three months of Madeline's existance elicts the same respone in me as nails on a chalkboard.  I shudder at the memory of those late nights spent helplessesly watching my precious baby wail in pain.

A little over five weeks ago, Eric and I breathed a collective sigh of relief when Vivienne turned out to be a very calm, easy-going baby.  I nearly dropped over in shock when she began nursing so easily.  We watched in amazement as she slept through seven heel pricks.  We were astounded that she seemed to like tummy time.  We nervously placed her in her crib for the first time expecting wails. Instead, she nestled down and took a nap.  All of these experiences had been high drama with Madeline.  Maybe the universe was giving us a break this time around.  

We were wrong.

Vivienne is just as fussy and just as miserable as her big sister was.  It started around three weeks of age, and now at six weeks, has taken over our lives once more.  She cries whenever she is awake.  She won't let us put her down.  And worst of all, she seems to be in pain.

I brought her to the doctor this morning, and just as we expected, she has a classic case of reflux.  This time it seems to be silent reflux.  She doesn't spit up like Madeline did.  Instead, she swallows it all back down, which is why it took me a bit longer to realize what we were dealing with.

We started the baby Zantac this morning. (Not to be confused with Xanax.  That's for me.  Kidding...sort of.)  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it does the trick.

The doctor also pointed out that the timing of her fussiness sounds like colic. I'm guessing based on our experiences with Madeline that she probably is colicky. Still, I'm holding out hope that the meds will kick in, and Vivi will be able to reclaim her status as the chillest baby ever.

Going through this a second time is easier in a lot of ways.  I know, for example, that this phase will not last forever.  Madeline's colic left as suddenly as it came when she was three months old.  Since then, she's been the most charming and joyful of children.  I know Vivi will come out of this fine.  If we're lucky, this will blow over in March. 

Plus, so far, Vivi's fussiness occurs earlier in the day.  Yes, we're rocking a fussing baby for hours, but at least it's not lasting till 3 am as it did with Madeline. Please don't smite me, Internet Gods!  

On the other hand, I'm surprised to find that this isn't any easier a second time arond.  Hearing my baby cry and being able to do nothing about it drives me insane.  I am a total crazy person.  And it doesn't matter how many times I tell myself that it won't last, or that it's not my fault...when I'm waltzing my hysterical child arond the house for the third hour in a row, it doesn't feel that way.  I'm biologicaly programed to be bothered by her cries so that I don't leave her in the woods to be raised by wolves.  These feelings are not going away.  

Besides, I have another child to deal with this time around.  Basicaly, I don't have time for this ish.  

Maddie Bear seems perfectly happy with the extra cartoon time she's been allowed, but I'm feeling some major Mama guilt.  I'm trapped under Vivi for most of the afternoon, which is not much fun for big sister.

Here's hoping, for the sake of my sanity, Vivi's health, and Maddie's well-being that we make it to March as soon as scientifically possible!