Vivi: Eighteen Months

Holy Hotdogs, Batman!  It's a blog!  

 I haven't written in a long time.  First, my brain went out to pick up milk eighteen months ago and never came back.  The cheap bastard.  

Also, I've been spending the little "me time" I have doing other important things.  You'd be happy to know, for example, that I've binge watched all of Scandal and House of Cards.  That adds up to days of my life right there.  

Plus, Maddie Bear is getting to an age where I feel funny sharing all of her secrets with the Internet.  She'll be five soon, and her existence is no longer my story to tell.  This does not stop me from Instagraming adorable pictures, however.   That is my right as her mother.  

I am sorry that Vivi will not have quite the detailed account of her babyhood that Madeline has.  We're nailing this second child thing though.  Go us!  

Anyhow, Vivi is a year and a half and is owed a letter.  So, without further ado...

Dear Vivienne,

I'm sorry I skipped recording the past three months of your life.  We love you and find you just as interesting as we found your sister at this age, but you're the second child, and this is just kinda how it goes.   I promise you're not the only second child to have suffered this fate.  It's a whole thing.  Social scientists even do studies on it.  Look it up.  

You've become such a nugget of a kid over the past quarter of a year.  Where'd that little baby go?  How did you suddenly develop a sense of humor and the ability to brush your teeth?  

 I'm always surprised by what you can do.  You can drag a wooden stool, which probably weighs  as much as you do, across the kitchen to the sink.  Then you confidently climb to the top to wash your hands by yourself.  It's enough to turn my hair grey, but it's also kind of amazing.  You're spunky and plucky and such a joy.  

If there's something you want, you go for it.  You don't wait for permission, and you  keep at it till you get what you want.  

Climbing is not limited to stools.  You climb on everything.  Up the stairs, on the furniture, up the slide... You can scramble up Madeline's bed to make yourself comfortable with a book.  We have to chase you away from the console table behind our sofa because you like to walk across it like it's a balance beam.  For a long time, Madeline took her toys to  the dining room table where she could be safe from your grabby hands.  Now, not only can you climb onto the dining room chairs, but you'll also crawl up and across the table to reach what you want.  No toy is safe!  

You stand on your head frequently, and you've even done a few somersaults.  Maybe you should take up gymnastics.  

Your verbal skills are expanding rapidly.  I've lost track of all the words you can say.  "No!" is probably your most frequently used word.  But words like "ock" (rock) "screen," (sunscreen) "oooce" (juice) and "eeth" (teeth) are also common.  Madeline is "Mah."   That's used a lot too.  

You and your big sister are playing together more and more.  It's adorable to hear Maddie say, "C'mon, Vivi!  Let's play dress-up!"  And you chase her into the playroom, so thrilled to be included, to rummage through the pile of princess dresses.  

You love wearing her shoes.  You put them on your feet by yourself and clomp around the house.  You even wear her Anna high heels pretty well.  It's hilarious, and disconcerting, to see a baby walking across the room in a diaper and heels. 

You are still a peanut.  Most of your clothes are nine month or twelve month sizes.  People with babies approach me all the time expecting our children to be the same age, and I can read the confusion on their faces when they realize that you are several months older than Little Susie even if you are a head shorter.  You are adorably petite.  

You're still a picky eater, but I feel like you're eating better than you were a month ago.  You like cherry tomatoes and cucumbers, and I'm so relieved to have found at least some kind of vegetable you won't spit out.  We make homemade, Vivi-friendly, pizza on the weekends.  You love that!  Almond-butter and jelly sandwiches are also usually acceptable.  

The rash on your legs came back with the warmer weather as I predicted it would.  Frequent bathing and ointment helps us stay on top of it.  Meanwhile, your last bad tummy episode happened on Easter.  I think this is the longest we've gone without one, knock on wood!  I hope that means your body is growing out of some of these issues.  

You love Popsicles.  You stick your face straight in the sprinkler and grin mischievously.  You like to help me water the garden.  We're going to have a great summer!  

And I love you more than words and the sun, all the stars.

Love,

Mumma

Parenting Currently

Part of me wants to take away that ink pad and those stickers because this is not going to end well for me.  

But a bigger part is so happy that these two are playing happily and quietly with one another that I'm just going to sit back with my coffee and hope for the best.  

Springy Spring Spring

We spent all weekend outside, and it was glorious.  After the winter we had, it's such a relief to be in the sun.  We all have more energy and improved attitudes.  At the end of the day, the girls are dirty, happy, and sleepy.  

Vivi is particularly enthralled with the outdoors having no memory of warm weather.  She runs around the yard all day, tries to keep pace with the big kids, digs in the dirt, and cries when we have to go back inside.  I don't blame her.  

It's supposed to be rainy the next few days, so it's good that we got out while we could.  We have a lazy day of movie-watching and muffin-making before us.  

Happy Easter

Welcome Home, Dada

Eric has had a few busy work weeks keeping him away from home till after the girls' bedtime recently.  Since he leaves before, or as, the girls wake up in the morning, there were several dad-less days in a row.  Two little redheads, and one not-so-little redhead, missed him.  Luckily, he wrapped up the last of his events on Saturday morning, and was home relaxing on the couch by noon.  

Madeline didn't leave him alone the rest of the day.  In fact, she parked herself on top of him for a few hours.  She wasn't content to just let him zone out in front of the TV either.  She needed ALL the attention.  

Dada's the best...

Teeny Tiny Ponytails

When Madeline was a wee tater tot, she was in the care of a nice lady named Ms. Sarah who ran the baby room at daycare.  Among Ms. Sarah's many talents was the ability to create pigtails on the baldest of babies.  

The first time I saw Maddie's teeny-tiny pigtails when I picked her up in the afternoon, I cocked my head to the side in confusion.  How was it even possible to put rubber bands in such fine hair?  

Somehow it worked, and the pigtails were there to stay.  When I think back to toddler Madeline, I always envision her with teeny tiny ponies.  

This morning, in the spirit of Ms. Sarah, I gave Vivi her first teeny tiny ponies.  She's officially a toddler now.  

Lament for the Big Sister

"Oh, look at Vivi!  Isn't she cute?  Isn't she clever?  Isn't she funny?" 

Those words pour through our house and hover in the air around our heads as Vivi learns a new skill, a new way to thrill and delight us, on a daily basis.  We "Oooh" and "Ahh" over her.  We praise and cuddle her.  Vivi takes up a lot of our time.  She takes up a lot of attention.

 A few weeks ago, I wrote about some of the drama that exists between my two girls as they grow together as sisters.  Vivi, even at fifteen months, can cut a look at Madeline harsh enough to freeze water.  But as it turns out, Madeline has a few looks of her own:

Doesn't her face just seem to be saying, "What the heck is her problem?"

I didn't notice Madeline's facial expression until I looked back at these pictures on my phone several days after they were taken, at which point  Eric and I had a laugh.  Then I looked again, and again, and the picture started to make me sad.  

We captured Madeline's feelings through the lens of my phone, but nobody noticed her in real life because all eyes were on her little sister.  This has become her life as the big sister.  Stories get interrupted.  Games get destroyed.  Her needs sometimes get ignored.

We fawned over Madeline once, perhaps even more so than Vivi since she was the only star in our sky.  We remind her of this, but of course she doesn't remember.

Meanwhile, the list of offenses grows longer.  

Vivi picks up a canister of markers and dumps it across the floor.  We laugh.  Maddie sees the attention, and dumps the canister of crayons, a giant grin in her face.  We scold.  She's a big kid.  She knows better.  

Maddie climbs the banister, "Look what I can do, Mumma!"  I don't mind until her littler sister tries to follow her up.  The game is over, and Madeline is told to get down.  She has to set a good example.  

Maddie wants me to play Play-Dough with her. She's been asking for a week, but there's little time for us to be alone.  We give it a try, with Vivi in my lap.  Two minutes in, Vivi eats a chunk of the pink.  I put her down, and she claws at my leg in tears.  Maddie ends up playing alone.  

Maddie's new magazine arrives in the mail, and she's eager to read it.  Vivi wants to see too, and so I lay the pages on the floor for them to share.  Vivi keeps sitting on the pages so Maddie can't see.  Madeline gets frustrated and head-butts her sister.  Madeline gets in trouble.  

There's a pile of toys that need to be cleaned up before bedtime.  "Vivi played with them too!  She has to help," Madeline argues.  I tell her that Vivi doesn't know how to clean up yet, and that we have to show her how.  Maddie carefully sorts the toys into separate baskets, and as soon as she rounds up all the blocks, her little sisters dumps them back out.  

We had to leave Madeline's field trip to the athletic center early last week to make it to one of Vivi's doctor's appointments.  She missed pajama day last month because Vivi had conjunctivitis and I was worried Madeline would infect the whole school.  She never did end up getting it.  

It's all so unfair being the big sister.  Sometimes I see it.  Sometimes I don't.

There's a delicate balance between ensuring Madeline feels important, and teaching her to make room in her world for others.  Sometimes I manage to make it work, and sometimes I fail miserably.

Besides, as the baby of the family, Vivi has a growing list of injustices too.  That's a post for another day.

I must say, Madeline handles her role as big sister beautifully.  She doesn't complain much.  She doesn't throw tantrums or stomp her feet.  She protests quietly with those secret dirty looks and occasional tattles.  

I just want you to know, Madeline, that I see you, and that I'm trying my best.  

  

Vivi: Fifteen Months

Dear Vivienne,

You are quite the toddler now.  You're constantly on the go.  You zoom around the house from dawn to dusk.  We should put a pedometer on you.  I bet your little legs walk miles around this house before the day is out.  

Taking you places is becoming harder because you want to get down to explore.  You only last so long in restaurants, and you try to climb out of the grocery cart at the supermarket.  For a baby who spent most of her life hiding from strangers, you aren't worried about staying with us either.  You're off without so much as a backward glance to make sure we're following you.  In fact, you think it's all so hilarious when Mumma has to chase after you.  The aisles at the library are endless fun because you can run ahead of me without me worrying about losing you in the crowds.

The stranger danger phase is over.  You might be a little wary of new people, but you warm up quickly.  Madeline had a field trip to a local indoor sports center last week, and you ran around with the big kids like a champ.  You had no problem demanding balls to play with from kids and grownups alike.   

You are demanding at home too.  You point and grunt with great persistence.  You cry when you don't get what you want.  No is a tough lesson to learn, but you're starting to get the hang of it.   

When you want a snack, you know where to go.  You run to the kitchen and point at the cabinet door until I find you a cracker to munch.   

Even with a spill-proof container, you find a way to dump your cereal on the floor.

You nod and say, "Yeah" in response to a lot of our questions.  Sometimes it's obvious that you know what we're talking about.

 "Vivi, do you want a snack?"
"Yeah, yeah!" head nod.  "Mmmmm."

At other times, you clearly have no idea what we're talking about, but you're willing to give it a try anyhow.    

"Vivi, do you like snakes?" Dada will ask.
"Yeah, yeah!" you nod.

Along with "Yeah," you've picked up some other new words.  Mumma and Dada are down.  But you also say, bubba, belly, baby, and juice.  You try to say Madeline.  Sometimes it's "Duh" sometimes it's "Mah-Duh"  sometimes it's "Ine-ine-ine."   

Poor Madeline.  You've started terrorizing your big sister a bit more.  The other afternoon I heard a terrible whining noise from where you two were playing.  Maddie was sitting at the dining room table with her guys, and you were tugging roughly on her arms and screeching loudly to get her attention.  Maddie, good big sister that she is, tried her best to ignore you, only letting out an occasional grunt of annoyance.  Yesterday, you pulled her hair pretty hard when she wouldn't let you see her Lego castle.  I understand that it's frustrating, Vivi, but you can not pull your sister's hair.  Ouch.   I'm waiting for the day that big sister turns around and slugs you.   

You had a follow-up with GI last week, and everything is looking great.  You weigh 18 lbs, 4 oz, which puts you in the 10th percentile.  You're curving upwards!  Your skin is clear.  There's very little rash remaining on your body.  I'm interested to see how you do this summer because that's when your skin really gave us trouble last year.  The sweaty creases of your body were a mess.   You still get bad BMs on occasion, but we know how to manage them now to keep the discomfort minimal.

The limitations in your diet is starting to get a bit more tricky because you're starting to notice that you're getting different foods than the rest of us.  We try to eat the same thing, or at least close to it, for dinner.  But if you see Madeline with a treat you can't have, it drives you crazy.  I've started stocking the pantry with Vivi-friendly treats to make up for it.

You love fruit and pasta.  You LOVE bread.  Dinner rolls are where it's at.  I still can't get you to eat any veggies unless they are mixed in a puree with fruit.  The only meat we've been able to get you to eat was in a taco, which is the same for Madeline.  My girls love tacos.  Go figure!  And, you're warming up to almond milk.

Above all, you're such a sweet, happy, plucky little thing that we all simply adore you.

Love,
Mumma 

St. Patty's Day Tip

Did you know that if you give your toddler a handful of her sister's Lucky Charms for breakfast, she will actually turn into a leprechaun? 

Proof!

The effects only last a few minutes...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  Eat those Lucky Charms with caution...

Letters to Maddie Bear: 4.5

Dear Maddie Bear,

You are now officially four and a half.  In six short months you will be five, and that's such a hard concept to wrap my brain around that I may never believe it.

A part of me wishes I could keep you four in my mind forever, but that's impossible.  Every few months I stop to realize that the younger version of you has vanished, and you have become a completely different person.  I can see it when I look at old pictures, some just taken a few months ago, and I'm startled to see how much you've grown.  Then I realize that there are funny little games you used to play that no longer amuse you.  Words you used to say wrong get corrected and replaced.  Memories of places we went or things we did vanish from your mind.  Finally, I accept that the little girl in the photograph is gone forever, and I get a bit sad.  I understand, for a brief second, why every old lady in the grocery store stops to remind me of how fast it flies by.

Luckily, though you change so fast, the new versions of you just keep getting better and better.    

You're such a great kid, Madeline.  You really are.  You're funny, smart, and considerate of others.  You're curious about everything.  Your imagination astounds me.  And you're just so, so lovely.  Three was a tough age full of doubt and drama and tantrums.  Four, so far, has been just wonderful.

You started dance lessons again this winter, and you love it.  Your class is a combination of ballet and tap, but you like tap better.  You listen to the teacher and follow along beautifully.  Watching you dance every Saturday morning is one of the highlights of my week because you have such fun with it.

You're reserved around other children and adults.  While the other little ballerinas hold hands and chat away at the teacher, you mostly keep to yourself.  It's not that your shy.  You're friendly, and you ask the teacher for help when you need it.  You just tend to keep your distance.

I've noticed the same pattern at school.  You love your teachers.  You love your friends.  You come home with a million stories of the games you played.  But, while the other kids run to give the teacher a hug as soon as they enter the room, I have to prod you to even say hello.  By the time I pick you up, you've warmed up and are bouncing around with the rest of the kids.  It seems like you'd just rather observe the situation carefully before diving in for the fun.

Meanwhile, you never stop talking at home.  In the car, the random questions and observations sometimes come so fast that I don't have a chance to even reply.  There's just a steady stream of Maddie Bear chattering from the backseat.

You've become quite the Taylor Swift fan.  We listen to her in the car, and you know all the lyrics to all of her songs.  If we're tired of Taylor Swift, you request Disney music.  You still like classical music and show tunes.  You do not like the Beatles, which is sad.

It's been a long winter of being couped up indoors.  You've developed the habit of running around in circles every evening around 5 pm.  It's as if all the energy in your little body can no longer be contained, and you just have to run.

You're a great big sister.  You help me take care of Vivienne.  You give her hugs and hold her hand at the library so that she can't run away from Mumma.  Sometimes you get upset when you have to share your toys or when she tries to eat your food.  It's understandable.  We're working on ways to distract her from your toys instead of shrieking at her when you get frustrated.  You still like to treat her like a dog sometimes by making her play fetch or trying to trap her in a box/ doghouse.  But mostly, you guys are great together.

You ask for alone time most days, and we try our best to give it to you.  You can shut yourself in the playroom where Vivi can't bother you.  The entire time you're in there, we hear high-pitched talking from the other side of the door as you play with your dolls.  Vivi lays on her belly and tries to peer under the door at you.

We let you stay up late to play games or watch a movie with Mumma and Dada every now and again.  We watched Big Hero 6 last week.  Toward the end, you looked a little scared, so I asked if you wanted to stop the movie.  You said yes and climbed right into bed with your eyes open wide in fright.  I felt like a terrible mother.  We traumatized you by forcing you to watch a superhero cartoon with us.

You're still working on your letters and how to write.  You were reluctant to learn for a long time.  I think you sometimes have trouble figuring out which hand to write with.  You're a lefty when you write, but a righty for almost everything else.  I downloaded a preschool app that lets you practice writing, but you use your right hand on the screen instead of your left.  It's very interesting to watch.

Meanwhile, you're drawing like a fiend all of a sudden.  For the longest time, you would just scribble colors without trying to make any pictures.  Now, you draw people and houses and dogs.  I love it.  Last week you drew me the solar system and some black holes because you're learning about space at school.  Then you drew a picture of the two of us, complete with "sun kisses" (freckles).  It's awesome.

We went to get your haircut last week. You decided that you wanted bangs like your cousin, so we gave it a try,  and you look so much older.  The shorter hair is a bit curlier and unruly, but you look adorable.

I brought you to see Cinderella over the weekend to celebrate your half birthday.  It was a long movie, and you got a little fidgety toward the middle, but you were a good girl and stayed in your seat the whole time.  It's always a treat to have time just with you.

You've been playing Cinderella since we saw the movie, but you like to pretend to be the stepsisters.  You made Vivi be Cinderella the other day and bossed her around.  Vivi obviously didn't mind, and I think you were having fun being bratty to your sister.

You're the best, Miss Madeline.  The best four-and-a-half-year-old kiddo in the whole universe.

 I love you!

Mumma