Welcome Home, Dada

Eric has had a few busy work weeks keeping him away from home till after the girls' bedtime recently.  Since he leaves before, or as, the girls wake up in the morning, there were several dad-less days in a row.  Two little redheads, and one not-so-little redhead, missed him.  Luckily, he wrapped up the last of his events on Saturday morning, and was home relaxing on the couch by noon.  

Madeline didn't leave him alone the rest of the day.  In fact, she parked herself on top of him for a few hours.  She wasn't content to just let him zone out in front of the TV either.  She needed ALL the attention.  

Dada's the best...

Teeny Tiny Ponytails

When Madeline was a wee tater tot, she was in the care of a nice lady named Ms. Sarah who ran the baby room at daycare.  Among Ms. Sarah's many talents was the ability to create pigtails on the baldest of babies.  

The first time I saw Maddie's teeny-tiny pigtails when I picked her up in the afternoon, I cocked my head to the side in confusion.  How was it even possible to put rubber bands in such fine hair?  

Somehow it worked, and the pigtails were there to stay.  When I think back to toddler Madeline, I always envision her with teeny tiny ponies.  

This morning, in the spirit of Ms. Sarah, I gave Vivi her first teeny tiny ponies.  She's officially a toddler now.  

Lament for the Big Sister

"Oh, look at Vivi!  Isn't she cute?  Isn't she clever?  Isn't she funny?" 

Those words pour through our house and hover in the air around our heads as Vivi learns a new skill, a new way to thrill and delight us, on a daily basis.  We "Oooh" and "Ahh" over her.  We praise and cuddle her.  Vivi takes up a lot of our time.  She takes up a lot of attention.

 A few weeks ago, I wrote about some of the drama that exists between my two girls as they grow together as sisters.  Vivi, even at fifteen months, can cut a look at Madeline harsh enough to freeze water.  But as it turns out, Madeline has a few looks of her own:

Doesn't her face just seem to be saying, "What the heck is her problem?"

I didn't notice Madeline's facial expression until I looked back at these pictures on my phone several days after they were taken, at which point  Eric and I had a laugh.  Then I looked again, and again, and the picture started to make me sad.  

We captured Madeline's feelings through the lens of my phone, but nobody noticed her in real life because all eyes were on her little sister.  This has become her life as the big sister.  Stories get interrupted.  Games get destroyed.  Her needs sometimes get ignored.

We fawned over Madeline once, perhaps even more so than Vivi since she was the only star in our sky.  We remind her of this, but of course she doesn't remember.

Meanwhile, the list of offenses grows longer.  

Vivi picks up a canister of markers and dumps it across the floor.  We laugh.  Maddie sees the attention, and dumps the canister of crayons, a giant grin in her face.  We scold.  She's a big kid.  She knows better.  

Maddie climbs the banister, "Look what I can do, Mumma!"  I don't mind until her littler sister tries to follow her up.  The game is over, and Madeline is told to get down.  She has to set a good example.  

Maddie wants me to play Play-Dough with her. She's been asking for a week, but there's little time for us to be alone.  We give it a try, with Vivi in my lap.  Two minutes in, Vivi eats a chunk of the pink.  I put her down, and she claws at my leg in tears.  Maddie ends up playing alone.  

Maddie's new magazine arrives in the mail, and she's eager to read it.  Vivi wants to see too, and so I lay the pages on the floor for them to share.  Vivi keeps sitting on the pages so Maddie can't see.  Madeline gets frustrated and head-butts her sister.  Madeline gets in trouble.  

There's a pile of toys that need to be cleaned up before bedtime.  "Vivi played with them too!  She has to help," Madeline argues.  I tell her that Vivi doesn't know how to clean up yet, and that we have to show her how.  Maddie carefully sorts the toys into separate baskets, and as soon as she rounds up all the blocks, her little sisters dumps them back out.  

We had to leave Madeline's field trip to the athletic center early last week to make it to one of Vivi's doctor's appointments.  She missed pajama day last month because Vivi had conjunctivitis and I was worried Madeline would infect the whole school.  She never did end up getting it.  

It's all so unfair being the big sister.  Sometimes I see it.  Sometimes I don't.

There's a delicate balance between ensuring Madeline feels important, and teaching her to make room in her world for others.  Sometimes I manage to make it work, and sometimes I fail miserably.

Besides, as the baby of the family, Vivi has a growing list of injustices too.  That's a post for another day.

I must say, Madeline handles her role as big sister beautifully.  She doesn't complain much.  She doesn't throw tantrums or stomp her feet.  She protests quietly with those secret dirty looks and occasional tattles.  

I just want you to know, Madeline, that I see you, and that I'm trying my best.  

  

Letters to Maddie Bear: 4.5

Dear Maddie Bear,

You are now officially four and a half.  In six short months you will be five, and that's such a hard concept to wrap my brain around that I may never believe it.

A part of me wishes I could keep you four in my mind forever, but that's impossible.  Every few months I stop to realize that the younger version of you has vanished, and you have become a completely different person.  I can see it when I look at old pictures, some just taken a few months ago, and I'm startled to see how much you've grown.  Then I realize that there are funny little games you used to play that no longer amuse you.  Words you used to say wrong get corrected and replaced.  Memories of places we went or things we did vanish from your mind.  Finally, I accept that the little girl in the photograph is gone forever, and I get a bit sad.  I understand, for a brief second, why every old lady in the grocery store stops to remind me of how fast it flies by.

Luckily, though you change so fast, the new versions of you just keep getting better and better.    

You're such a great kid, Madeline.  You really are.  You're funny, smart, and considerate of others.  You're curious about everything.  Your imagination astounds me.  And you're just so, so lovely.  Three was a tough age full of doubt and drama and tantrums.  Four, so far, has been just wonderful.

You started dance lessons again this winter, and you love it.  Your class is a combination of ballet and tap, but you like tap better.  You listen to the teacher and follow along beautifully.  Watching you dance every Saturday morning is one of the highlights of my week because you have such fun with it.

You're reserved around other children and adults.  While the other little ballerinas hold hands and chat away at the teacher, you mostly keep to yourself.  It's not that your shy.  You're friendly, and you ask the teacher for help when you need it.  You just tend to keep your distance.

I've noticed the same pattern at school.  You love your teachers.  You love your friends.  You come home with a million stories of the games you played.  But, while the other kids run to give the teacher a hug as soon as they enter the room, I have to prod you to even say hello.  By the time I pick you up, you've warmed up and are bouncing around with the rest of the kids.  It seems like you'd just rather observe the situation carefully before diving in for the fun.

Meanwhile, you never stop talking at home.  In the car, the random questions and observations sometimes come so fast that I don't have a chance to even reply.  There's just a steady stream of Maddie Bear chattering from the backseat.

You've become quite the Taylor Swift fan.  We listen to her in the car, and you know all the lyrics to all of her songs.  If we're tired of Taylor Swift, you request Disney music.  You still like classical music and show tunes.  You do not like the Beatles, which is sad.

It's been a long winter of being couped up indoors.  You've developed the habit of running around in circles every evening around 5 pm.  It's as if all the energy in your little body can no longer be contained, and you just have to run.

You're a great big sister.  You help me take care of Vivienne.  You give her hugs and hold her hand at the library so that she can't run away from Mumma.  Sometimes you get upset when you have to share your toys or when she tries to eat your food.  It's understandable.  We're working on ways to distract her from your toys instead of shrieking at her when you get frustrated.  You still like to treat her like a dog sometimes by making her play fetch or trying to trap her in a box/ doghouse.  But mostly, you guys are great together.

You ask for alone time most days, and we try our best to give it to you.  You can shut yourself in the playroom where Vivi can't bother you.  The entire time you're in there, we hear high-pitched talking from the other side of the door as you play with your dolls.  Vivi lays on her belly and tries to peer under the door at you.

We let you stay up late to play games or watch a movie with Mumma and Dada every now and again.  We watched Big Hero 6 last week.  Toward the end, you looked a little scared, so I asked if you wanted to stop the movie.  You said yes and climbed right into bed with your eyes open wide in fright.  I felt like a terrible mother.  We traumatized you by forcing you to watch a superhero cartoon with us.

You're still working on your letters and how to write.  You were reluctant to learn for a long time.  I think you sometimes have trouble figuring out which hand to write with.  You're a lefty when you write, but a righty for almost everything else.  I downloaded a preschool app that lets you practice writing, but you use your right hand on the screen instead of your left.  It's very interesting to watch.

Meanwhile, you're drawing like a fiend all of a sudden.  For the longest time, you would just scribble colors without trying to make any pictures.  Now, you draw people and houses and dogs.  I love it.  Last week you drew me the solar system and some black holes because you're learning about space at school.  Then you drew a picture of the two of us, complete with "sun kisses" (freckles).  It's awesome.

We went to get your haircut last week. You decided that you wanted bangs like your cousin, so we gave it a try,  and you look so much older.  The shorter hair is a bit curlier and unruly, but you look adorable.

I brought you to see Cinderella over the weekend to celebrate your half birthday.  It was a long movie, and you got a little fidgety toward the middle, but you were a good girl and stayed in your seat the whole time.  It's always a treat to have time just with you.

You've been playing Cinderella since we saw the movie, but you like to pretend to be the stepsisters.  You made Vivi be Cinderella the other day and bossed her around.  Vivi obviously didn't mind, and I think you were having fun being bratty to your sister.

You're the best, Miss Madeline.  The best four-and-a-half-year-old kiddo in the whole universe.

 I love you!

Mumma

Sister Drama

Vivi gets angry when I brush her big sister's hair.  She whines, screeches, and tries to claw her way between us.  I'm not sure if she's jealous of the attention I'm giving Madeline, or if she's jealous of the fact that Madeline has hair while she doesn't.  Either way, it's a problem.

After her usual tantrum yesterday, she suddenly gave up whining, snatched book Madeline was reading out of her hands, and toddled quickly out of reach.  

Since I had Madeline gripped firmly by the hair, there wasn't much the poor girl could do to defend herself other than cry out, "Hey!  Vivi!  Mumma, Vivi just took the book I was reading right out of my hands!"  

I looked up in time to see a look shoot across the room from one sister to another. THE look.  An evil, vindictive, glass-cutting glare.  And it was coming not from Madeline, but from my baby!  

It only lasted a second, but it was enough.  The message was clear.  "You took my Mumna. I took your book! And if you cross me again, I'm gonna have to cut a bitch."  

This was not an act of innocent babyhood.  Stealing that book was vindictive.  Calculated.  Aggressive.  

Somewhere beneath the chubby cheeks and doe eyes, there lurks the natural instinct to kill or be killed.  Vivi does not intend to loose in life.  Not now.  Not ever.  I admit.  I was a little scared by what I witnessed.    

By the time I finished Madeline's braid, the brush, the book, and the look had all been forgotten.  They went right back to playing as if nothing had happened.

I've witnessed this pattern over and over again.  For the briefest of seconds, after some wrong or another, they are worst enemies.  Five seconds later, they are best buddies again.  I don't pretend to understand it.  I try my best to stay out of it and let nature take its course.  Although, after seeing that look, I would watch my back if I were Madeline.

So, in an effort to help me forget that my sweet child may actually be Rosemary's Baby, here are some cute pictures of the girls loving one another. 

The protect one another from the vacuum cleaner.

They watch cartoons together.  

They share toys.  

Maddie reads books to her little sister.  

We Got 99 Inches and a Bitch Ain't One

There's been quite a bit of snow here in sunny Massachusetts over the past month.  The city of Lowell, where we lived when Maddie was born, is currently the snowiest city in America at 111.3".  That's a lot of snow, dammit.

In our neck of the woods, we've got 99.2", which is still a lot of snow, dammit.  

A month ago we were starting to think we had missed having a terrible winter.  We had a storm on Thanksgiving, but it was relatively warm throughout December and January.  What fools we were!  The end of January brought a blizzard, and it pretty much hasn't stopped snowing since.

The winter after Madeline was born was a snowy one too.  If you've been reading the blog for a long time, you might remember this chart from 2011:  

So, since the winter of 2015 has turned out to be even worse than 2011, I thought I'd make a new chart:

We have enough snow on the ground to equal 3.5 Viviennes and 2.4 Madelines.  In case you're interested, that's also 1.5 Mummas and 1.3 Dadas.  

This is why we're trapped indoors.  If I sent the girls out to play, we wouldn't see them again till April.  We maybe wouldn't find Vivi till May or June... 

Time to play another board game and watch another DVD.  Hopefully something other than Frozen...

M & V Winter, 2015

                            Madeline at 4 years, 5 months            Vivi at thirteen months 

                               Wearing

 Purple Uggs/ Brown Bearpaws 

(both courtesy of Mimi)

                               Reading

Welcome to Mamoko/ If You Give a Pig a Party...obviously

                                Snacking On

Gummy Fruits/ Wheat Thins with Sunbutter 

                      Playing With

Art Supplies/ Art Supplies 

                                Watching

 

 Angelina Ballerina on the iPad/ Videos of herself on my phone

Snowed In

As promised, more snow photos!  We got almost three FEET of snow this week in sunny Massachusetts!  Almost three feet. 

 I don't remember ever getting this much snow at once before.  There's no place to put it all.  Plus, we're supposed to get a few more inches over the weekend.  What's another 6 inches, though, right?  

The whole state shut down, so Eric was home from work.  He spent the entire day shoveling basically.  Better him than me.  

I stayed indoors and baked all the things and ate all the food.  What is it about snow storms that make me want to stuff my face?  It's like my body is preparing to hibernate.  I bet I'd weigh twenty pounds less if I lived in a warmer climate.  

We did not bring Vivi in the snow this time because we wouldn't find her again till March.  She did enjoy watching Dada out the windows though.  

Madeline, on the other hand, burried herself in a snow drift until Eric carried her out kicking and screaming.  She stayed out so long that I was worried her rosy cheeks had frostbite.  She's a real snow bunny.  

Schools (at least in our area) opened back up today, so we're back to our regular scheduled programming.  And the sun seems to be working extra hard to melt all that white stuff today. 

Vivi in the Snow...And Angry

I love that my Facebook feed fills up with pictures of my friends' kids playing in the snow every time we get a decent amount.  Parenting can sometimes feel isolating, but it's such a shared experience.  At the very moment I was bundling my girls up to go sledding, thousands of other parents across Eastern Massachusetts were doing the same exact thing.  Whether it's fun in the snow, or fielding bedtime meltdowns, 

it's comforting to know that we're all in the same boat.  

Anyhow...before I get too carried away and start singing Kumbaya...

We got a good amount of snow over the weekend.  Madeline was thrilled.  When I broke the news that ballet was cancelled on Saturday morning, I was prepared for some frowns.  

Instead, she grinned and cried, "That means I get to go outside and play in the snow!"  

And when she says "play in the snow," she really means lie down face-first and eat the snow.  

She ate enough snow to make me think she might have a problem.  Seriously, Maddie Bear, stop eating the snow.

In the afternoon, we decided to bring Vivi outside and toss her in the white stuff for the first time.  

We put so many layers on the poor girl that she couldn't move.  At all.  She was not amused.  

We pulled the girls around the yard on their sled, but Vivi couldn't even sit due to the absurd amount of clothing she was wearing.  So she lay on her back, snow falling in her face, and gave us the Vivi glare of doom.  

We quickly rescued her from sledding hell.  Although I may have made her cry a few minutes later when I tried sliding her down a snow bank.  

 She was content to watch Madeline and our neighbors run around like snow beasts for a bit, but overall, she wasn't a fan.  

That's too bad, Vivi, cause we're about to get hit with a blizzard. Our local weathermen can't even contain their excitement.  Those sick bastards.

 I predict more snow-day pictures in our future.  

Happy Birthday, Olaf!

On Tuesday, Madeline declared, "Tomorrow is Olaf's birthday!"  

In case you're new around here, Olaf is Maddie's bear and best buddy.  http://ourlittlebabywl.blogspot.com/2013/01/a-girl-and-her-bear.html?m=1

And for the record, he was Olaf long before any snowman came along.  

I don't know what put the idea in her head, but she didn't forget about celebrating Olaf's birthday like I expected she would.  She spent the rest of the afternoon making invitations to his party and hanging up decorations.   

I found the feather boas from her dress-up box draped around the banister, and every figurine she possesses lined up in anticipation for his party, which she informed me, would be the following afternoon.   

I figured, what the heck, Olaf deserves a birthday.  So I told her that if she cleaned the playroom, (now covered in figurines and dress-up clothes) she could have a party for Olaf when she got home from school the next day.  

She woke up the next morning, Olaf tucked under her arm as always, and exclaimed, "Olaf's party is today!" 

I did some grocery shopping while she was at school and picked up a cupcake for "Olaf" while I was there.  

Later, as promised, we broke out the fancy tea set, and Madeline set up her party.  She very happily poured water into the teacups and chatted with her bears.  

When I showed her the cupcake, the smile faded from her face though.  

"Mumma, Olaf's not real," she told me gently.  

I'm not sure if she was making sure that she would get to eat the cupcake, or if she was worried that her mother had actually lost her mind.  But once I clarified that she could eat it in Olaf's place, and that I knew he wasn't a living bear, the party was back on.  

Happy birthday, Olaf.  You're a very good bear.  

Monkey See...

If we made one giant pile of our baby toys and tossed Vivienne in the center of it, she'd never be seen again.

Seriously.  She's a small baby.  She has A LOT of toys.  Enough to keep twenty small babies occupied for quite some time. (As long as there aren't any electrical cords or cardboard boxes around to distract the babies from the toys that is...)

All her toys are age appropriate and awesome.  She has hippopotami that sing, a puppy that walks on his hind legs, and enough Little People to populate Rhode Island.  If I were a baby, I would play with those toys all damn day, son.  

But Vivi?  All Vivi wants to play with is the Disney Princess Glitter Glider Castle Playset complete with MagiClip Glitter Glider Princesses.  Of course.  

After all, it's Madeline's toy, and therefore, the coolest thing Vivi has seen since passing through the birth canal.  

Madeline is a little less than thrilled with her little sister trying to swipe her Christmas present, so Vivi doesn't get to play with it much.  This seems to only make her want it more.  I spend a good portion of my afternoon trying to keep the peace between Madeline, Vivi, and the Glitter Glider Castle Playset.  

Luckily for Vivi, Madeline's not always around.  Sometimes she's at school, or helping Dada shovel, or playing with the mountain of baby toys in the other room.  And when big sister's away, Vivi will play...

She's not quite sure what to do with those princesses once she's not trying to sneak them away from Madeline. Mostly she makes a lot of high-pitched oohs and ahhs while she lines them up on the table.  Occasionally she tries to send them down the slide, but then she gets frustrated and throws them on the floor.  A few second later she forgets her anger and chews on their heads.  This morning she spent nearly an hour repeating this cycle while Madeline was at school.  It was glorious.  I got to drink my coffee in peace while Cinderella's face got gnawed on for a change.  

And so it begins.  Vivi will now spend the next eighteen years of her life trying to copy everything that Madeline does.  Baby toys?  Who needs those when there are four-year-old toys in the house!?  

Vivi will probably try to ride a bike long before she's ready, steal her sister's lipstick, and whine about her unfairly early curfew.

 This also means that if Madeline starts sneaking out of the house to booze with her friends at sixteen, Vivi will start doing it at thirteen. 

 We're hoping Maddie decides to play the tuba.