The Sound of Silence

Over the weekend, Madeline went on an outing with her grandparents and cousin.  Then Eric-the-wonder-husband took Vivi out to get me cheesecake with him.  This gave me over an hour of alone time.

Since I share my bedroom with two humans, get heckled in the shower by my three-year-old, and am joined at the breast with my loaf of bread (aka Vivi) for a greater part of the day, I haven't been alone in a long time.

To say it was nice would be a gross understatement.  

I used the time to drink a hot cup of tea and catch up on watching Game of Thrones.  Except for the sounds of flying axes and shrieking dragons, it was peculiarly quiet around here.

Even after Eric and Vivi got home, (and I had gorged myself on cheesecake) it was peculiarly quiet.  I never quite realized how much noise our Maddie Bear makes before...

And every time I am left alone, I find myself asking the same question: What on God's green earth did I do with myself before I had kids or constant access to the Internet?  

Vivi: Fourteen Weeks

Vivi gained two ounces according to her checkup last Monday.  Woohoo!  However, since she's still spitting up a lot, refusing feedings, and underweight, the doctor changed her medication and referred us to a GI specialist who we are meeting with next week.

The new medicine blocks her stomach from producing acid.  It's like baby Prevacid.  She's only been on it a few days, but I think I see a difference.  One thing is for sure, she has been eating like a fiend.  She hasn't fussed at my breast or refused to eat either.  Knock on wood.  My mom saw her yesterday and thought she looked chubbier.  Hooray!

On the other hand, her fussy periods seem to go in waves.  She has a few good days, but then things gradually get worse until it peaks and then subsides.  This morning she was spitting up A LOT, and she was a bit fussy.  So we'll see if this medicine is working or if we've just been in the happy part of the cycle.

And although Vivi is light, she sure is long.  She's 24 inches already.  She swims in her three-month clothing, but her toes are all squished in some of her pj's.  It's tough being tall and skinny.

 She's been talking SO much.  She just screams and squeals all day.  It's hilarious.  I think she's going to be a talker just like big sister.

She's been flipping onto her side to get a better view of her surroundings.  I left her in her crib the other morning and came back to find her in a completley different spot.  She's a real wiggle worm.  No more leaving her unstrapped in any of her swings or seats when I need to put her down quickly.  Between her desire to roll and sit up, she'd wiggle right out.

Eric and I still are in awe of this little one's determination.  Madeline would just push her face into the floor and cry whenever we did tummy time.  Her attitude was always, "I don't wanna do this!  Not fair!"  Vivi gets mad during tummy time, but her attitude is along the lines of, "Oh hell no!  There is no way I'm staying like this.  You people can't make me."

I am still calling her a drama queen.  Sometimes when she cries I just have to laugh at how woeful she sounds.  She sighs like one of Shakespeare's heroines.

I've been trying to get her on a nap schedule in her crib this week.  Ha.  Silly me.  It's not going well.  She does not like her crib, and she still has not figured out how to calm herself down.  As a result, she didn't nap at all several days this week.  It made for an overtired bedtime disaster.  Ooops.

With Madeline, I had all the time in the world to rock her and teach her to nap in her crib.  I can't just leave Madeline to her own devices for hours a day while I sleep train Vivi though.  She may just end up napping in her swing or in the car forever.  Worse things have happened.

Still, as stubborn as babies can be, Mumma's a pretty stubborn old bird herself.  I'm not giving up on operation sleep-in-the-crib yet.

Best of all, she let out a quick laugh this week.  I was nibbling on her cheeks, cause that's what Mumma's do, and out it came.  It was just a soft, little chuckle...very different from baby Maddie's belly laughs.  I've been nibbling on her cheeks more than usual to see if she'll laugh again, but she just smiles and wrinkles her nose.  So cute!

We love you Vivi!  You quirky, stubborn, dramatic little ray of sunshine!  

Maddie Bear Says

M: I wanted to hold Vivi, but Mumma wouldn't let me.

Eric: Well, were you being rough with her?

M:  She was being rough with me.  

Take it from the top, Dada!

M: (Singing "Let It Go" then stopping abruptly) I would make snow angels!

Me: Oh yeah? If you had snow powers like Elsa?

M: No...Mumma...I'm Madeline, remember?

(About Vivi) 

I will be right by her side and hold her hand so she gets brave.  

(Playing Frozen)

Elsa Doll: I can't control the curse!

Anna Doll: That's okay.  All you have to do is be happy.  Cause I'm happy.  Clap along if you feel that happiness is the truth.  Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof.  

Me: You should be proud of yourself.

M: I am.

Me: What are some reasons for being proud of yourself?  

M: I'm brave.  

M: Big Mumma, I'm looking out the window.

Eric: Who's Big Mumma?

M: The one sitting over there on the couch. (Pointing to me)

Eric: She's big Mumma? Then who's little Mumma?

M: I am.  

Eric: Madeline, do you want some candy?

M: Perhaps I would like some MnMs I think.

M: (muttering to herself in exasperation) Omigod! 

Me: Did you just say Oh my God?

M: Uh-huh

Me: Ha.  Does Mumma say that sometimes?

M: Yeah...

Me: When do I say that?

M: When you lose stuff.  

She's also taken to saying, "Amn't" instead of "am not."  For example:

Me: Madeline, are you poking Vivi?

M: I amn't.  

Me: I hope not.

M: Mumma, I amn't.  

Fashion by Maddie Bear

I got out of the shower yesterday morning to find that Madeline had dressed herself for the day.

(Flynn Ryder photobomb!)

Her pink skirt had cats on it.  Her navy shirt had chickens on it.  The khaki pants she put on under her skirt were also on backwards.  

Some days I might make her change, or at least "tweak" her ensemble a little, but yesterday I let her keep everything as it was.

"Meh.  Not worth it," I shrugged before letting her pick out two mismatched bows for her hair.  Pick your battles, you know?  

Besides, she was so proud of herself! Then she was so surprised that I let her wear the pink skirt, which I never do because of the cold weather, that this silly outfit made her day.

Later in the afternoon, she took the skirt off and put it on Olaf.  Without the skirt, her outfit was actually very well matched. Although the backward pants were a bit problematic.  

Nice job, Madeline!  

Vivi: Thirteen Weeks

My mantra since Vivi was born has been, "Just get through the first three months!" And now here we are!  Hooray! 

Honestly, the past three months have been tough, but not as bad as I remembered them being. We found our footing somewhere around week 8, and we've kept our heads above water ever since.

We've been having some tummy troubles again this week though.  I'm convinced that she has some kind of food sensitivity, but I can't figure out what it is.  I've got a list of suspects, so I'm eliminating some things from my diet to see if it makes a difference.  

Last weekend was rough.  Vivi's tummy was bothering her so much that she refused to eat.  The poor girl was hungry, but she'd gag and choke and cry in pain every time I tried to nurse her.  She went about eight hours without eating on Sunday afternoon.  

Needless to say, we made a trip to the doctor on Monday.  She was back to her happy self by the time she saw the doctor, and they ran some tests that came back normal.  

The doctor probably would have thought I was nuts except for the fact that she's not gaining weight as well as she should be.  When she was born, she was in the 60th percentile.  At her two month checkup, she fell to the 37th.  Now, she's 22nd.  She was seven pounds at birth but only 11 pounds now.

Of course, she hadn't eaten well all weekend, so that could explain the dip in her weight. We're going back to the doctor to see how she's doing this week, and we'll go from there.

On the bright side, she had a much needed growth spurt in the middle of the week.  She was eating CONSTANTLY! This is only the second obvious growth spurt we've experienced with Vivi.  It seemed like Maddie was constantly going through one for most of her baby years.

Otherwise, she's doing great!  She's continuing to make adorable squeals and screeches.  It's so fun chatting with her.  

She's so curious about everything around her.  As long as she has a good view, she's pretty content.  She's starting to lift her head well during tummy time, and she always wants to sit up. 

She is able to whack at objects we dangle in front of her, but it takes a lot of concentration.  She makes a hilarious facial expression when she focuses on something.  She puckers her lips and tilts her head up as she squints her eyes.  She looks like a little scientist.  

It's getting easier to put her down for the night. (Knock on wood.) She was up to eat a bit more often this week while she was growing, but that's okay if it's going to help her bulk up.  

We've been offering her bottles, but she won't take them.  She's so not interested in those rubber nipples.  I'm glad she enjoys nursing, but I'm worried that I'll be forever joined at the breast to this girl.  

We've also been trying to put her in her crib for naps.  She has fallen asleep in there a few times, but it never lasts long. We'll get there eventually.  She can't stay in with us forever, but I'm not really in any rush to move her out of our room either.

Keep eating, Vivienne.  You're so skinny. Eat!  Eat!  

Faces

Look what we got!

Yesterday was like a holiday in our house because we now have Frozen on DVD. We had a "picnic" on the living room floor, complete with movie-viewing snacks, to watch it.  

Our Olaf finally got to see Olaf the snowman.

 We brought Madeline to see Frozen in the theatre back in November when Vivi was still baking.  Like so many other children, she's been seriously obsessed ever since.  I may admit a slight obsession of my own...but mostly because it makes Madeline so happy.  Now that we have our own copy, I predict that I will be sick of this movie by the end of the week!  

Monday Morning Messes with Maddie Bear

I've been trying to keep Madeline busy as these cold months drag on here in sunny New England.  We get out of the house a lot, and she goes to preschool a few mornings a week.  But on days when it's too cold to get dressed and Eric works late, I try to provide some interesting indoor activities for her to explore.

To lead into Saint Patrick's Day, we've been focusing on rainbows. 

For our first activity, I cut small squares of colored paper for Madeline to sort into a rainbow.  She enjoyed sorting the colors into different piles, but she wasn't too interested in gluing them down in rainbow formation.  

Instead, I left the squares out on the table with some glue and paper in case inspiration struck.  She poured the glue all over her paper to make "roads". Then she used the paper squares to make "houses".  By the time she was done, she had created a map of all our loved ones' houses.  Florida and Africa were also included because obviously...

Next, we used Skittles to practice counting and graphing.  I used a printable found here. She liked this because she got to eat the candy at the end.  She learned a little subtraction as she ate the candies one by one.  

I'm helping Madeline learn to spell her name, so I printed letters on the leftover squares of paper.  She arranged the letters in the correct order to reveal her name in rainbow colors.  

I followed up by asking her to use words to describe herself.  I wrote down her answers on strips of colored paper and attached them to her name. (I was going for a cloud...whatever.)

I was surprised, and pleased, that I didn't have to prompt her to come up with adjectives.  She is a confident child.  I love it.

M's favorite activity was a rainbow scavenger hunt.  We took turns picking bits of colored paper out of a box.  Then we had to find something in the room that matched our color. (Luckily, there were Legos nearby.) We continued until all the paper was gone, and we were left with a rainbow of toys on our living room floor.  She loved this!

We also played with color mixing using an ice cube tray, some food coloring, and a dropper.  I filled the tray with water and dyed three boxes red, blue, and yellow.  Then she used the dropper to create new colors in the empty boxes.  I showed her how red and blue make purple, etc, then I left her to investigate on her own.  We squirted some of the colors on a paper towel to observe how they mixed too. 

This activity kept her busy for a long time.  She kept asking, "Mumma, what will happen if we mix in this color?"   Pretty soon all we had was brown or gray.  

 Lastly, we finished up by making a rainbow cake. Maddie helped me mix the batter, but she mostly spent her time licking frosting from the beaters.

We had eaten half of it before I remembered to take a picture.   Yum, cake!  

Vivi: Twelve Weeks

Ahh, we're heading into the comfortable three-month zone where babies stop acting like a wailing loaf of bread and start acting like humans.  Sweet relief!  

Vivienne is playing with her voice.  She likes to let out high-pitched squeals and screams.  I first heard it while she "napped" in her crib the other morning.  I was doing dishes and had to drop everything to go inspect what was going on.  The sounds are joyous, but she makes serious, intense faces while she's making them. She's too funny.  

We put her in the Bumbo a few times this week.  I still feel like she's still a little young and wobbly for it, but she loves nothing more than sitting up to observe the room.  

She's starting to reach for objects.  You can see the concentration in her face as she tries to operate her limbs.  She's most interested in grabbing her feet.

Vivi is becoming a dirty baby.  She hates, Hates, HATES taking baths.  Between how miserable they make her and the cold, we aren't bathing her nearly as often as we used to bathe baby Madeline.  Second child...

Vivi is stranger shy already.  Her face melts in a puddle of epic baby sadness when someone other than Mumma or Dada holds her.  

Her tears are starting to come in, which makes watching her cry ten times sadder.  She's been very fussy so far today.  The girl usually eats every two hours, but she doesn't even want to nurse.  It's clear that her tummy is bothering her.  We'll be paying the doctor a visit next week for sure.  

I just love this little face to pieces.  I'm so glad she chose to join our family! 

Letters to Maddie Bear: March, 2014

Dear Madeline,

Happy half birthday, Maddie Bear!  This morning I told you that you are now three -and-a-half years old.  You rushed downstairs to share the news with Dada and Vivienne.  "Yeah, Vivi," you bragged," I'm three and a half!"  Quite the milestone.  

Now that we're together basically every second of every day, we get on one another's nerves from time to time.  And you are so very, very three, my darling, that it's easy to get bogged down in the negatives.  

Yet, when I step back and really see you in all your kiddish glory, I am so proud.  You're such a good kid.  You're polite.  You're smart.  You're funny.  You're sensitive.  You try your best to please us, and you're patient. (Most of the time.) I couldn't ask for anything better than you.  

You like to tell me what you know.  You told me where snakes live the other afternoon before moving on to the habitats of birds and squirrels.  This morning you asked me if I knew what happens when the sun goes down.

"The sky turns pink, Mumma," you informed me. "And it's called a sunset."  

You've had nightmares almost every night for the past two weeks.  It started with a dream that there were worms in your bed.  Since then, every night you wake up crying.  You say you're scared of the dark and don't want to stay in your room.  It's very sad.  We're doing our best to let you know that you're safe and that Mumma and Dada are there.

You've been a bit more clingy during the day as well.  You don't like it when I leave the room.  You thought there was a monster in the kitchen yesterday, but it was just Dada's jacket.  Every piece of lint or fuzz looks like a spider to you.  You do not like spiders.  I hope this phase passes quickly.  

You continue to be a good big sister most of the time.  I caught you singing a lullaby to Vivi when she was crying in her crib as I got dressed the other morning.  I've sung you Beautiful Boy (except I change the lyrics to "beautiful girl") by John Lennon since you were a baby, and I was pleased to find you passing the tradition on to your little sister.  

On the other hand, you have the bad habit of gritting your teeth when you speak to Vivienne.  So even though you're saying, "Hello, sweet girl," it comes across as angry and aggressive.  It's actually kinda funny because you think you're being gentle.  

You also try to get her in trouble sometimes by telling us she hit you or poked you.  I always say that her hand didn't hit you; your cheek hit her hand.  And yesterday you called her, "poopy Vivienne."  Sigh.  So it begins.  

Still, I try to impress upon you the importance of being kind to your baby sister, and I think you get it.  We had a mouse in the house a few weeks ago, and you talked afterward of protecting Vivienne from it.  You try to comfort her when she's sad.  

Your new favorite place is the library.  We go twice a week because you like it so much.  You play with the toys, use the computer, and read lots of books.  It's a nice way to use up an afternoon until it gets warm out.

Dada has been playing songs for you on YouTube.  Now you sing "Everything is Awesome" and "Happy" all day long.  Otherwise you're singing "Let it Go."  It amazes me how quickly you learn song lyrics.  And watching you shake your booty is pretty hilarious too.

I can't believe that you're so big and grownup!  Tear...sniff...snort.

Love,

Mumma

Faces

It's rare to get any one-one-one time with Madeline these days.  One morning, Eric got up with Vivienne so that I could catch up on some sleep.  Of course, Madeline woke up and called for us about two minutes after he went downstairs.  Instead of sending her down to Dada, I called her in to my room.  We cuddled and snoozed for a bit...just the two of us.  It was nice.  

Parenting Currently

Vivi decided that 5 am was a good time to wake up for the day.  Madeline woke up at six.  

Once Vivi was certain she had successfully woken everyone else up, she fell back to sleep.  I don't mind because it means I can drink coffee and browse the Internet for half an hour.  

Madeline and I wished Dada a happy day at work, and now we're watching Sesame Street with a side of Cheerios.  

She just said, "Mumma, I feel like being with Mumma," so now she's cuddling next to me on the couch.  

We may have started early today, but life is good.  

Surviving Parenthood

On my second day home alone with two children instead of just one, Madeline woke up with a stomach bug.  I shuffled from one end of the living room to the other, rubbing the back of my big girl as she got sick and rocking my two-week-old baby to sleep. 

Nothing like trial by fire to completely freak out a new (for the second time) mother.  We got through the day just fine, but I found myself wondering what the hell I was doing on more than one occasion.  

Now that we're three months in to this new adventure, life is running a lot more smoothly.  

Some days are still tough.  One morning, both Madeline and I ended up in tears over a pair of socks.  In those moments, I feel like a fraud convinced that someone should revoke my mommy badge immediately. "What kind of mother am I if I can't even get my kids dressed?!" I feel like screaming.  

And there's no such thing as a break now that I'm home full time.  Madeline insisted on following me into the bathroom while I indulged in the rare shower the other morning.  Then she heckled me through our glass shower doors as she pointed out all the parts of my body she thought were funny.  Next time, I don't care how many tears she sheds, she's staying in her room.  

On the other hand, more and more days are turning out  just fine.  In fact, some are downright magical.  

Last Thursday afternoon, Madeline squealed, "What a cute, little day we had!" after we finished a fun game we had invented.

Madeline's simple declaration made up for the shower incident ten times over.  Vivi was happily napping in her swing, Maddie was smiling, and I even had time to do the dishes.  I am mother, hear me roar.  

The key to our success is that I've learned to simplify my expectations of what motherhood should look like.  I'm rarely June Cleaver, but that's okay.  If we're having the kind of day that makes me wonder why we ever decided to reproduce in the first place, we slow things way down.  Who cares if the TV stays on longer than it should, or if we never get out of our pjs?  My sanity is at stake.  

There are two pieces of advice I give myself when the socks are about to hit the fan.

First, I have spent more one-on-one quality time with Madeline than I ever will with Vivi.  Therefore, I should not feel guilty about devoting so much time to the baby right now.  The baby needs me, and it's healthy for Madeline to realize that she's not the center of the universe.

Secondly, my children will be happier if I'm happy.  Who wants to deal with a grumpy, short-tempered mother all the time?  My kids deserve better than that.  If that means I have to put Vivi down to eat lunch, that's okay.  If it means I have to make Madeline go to her room for some quiet time so I can have half-an-hour of peace, that's okay too.  Then when I've regained my footing, I'm ready to greet both my girls with a smile and a good attitude.  

As I'm about to post this, Vivi is crying from her swing.  She did not sleep well last night, but still woke up at 6 am.  Meanwhile, Madeline is complaining that she's cold and wants to cuddle.  I'm simply trying to get some hot coffee in my body.  And so the day begins...

Vivi: Eleven Weeks

I say this again and again, but the way time goes by blows my mind.  Eleven weeks has passed, and at times it feels like it's only been two.  On the other hand, life before Vivienne feels like so long ago that I can't believe it's only been a few months.  

I think we might need to bring Vivi in to see the doctor to get her medication adjusted for her increasing weight.  Yesterday, I had to change twice due to the amount of spit-up she projected on me.  She hasn't been unreasonably fussy, but she has had some tough evenings this week.  Oh the joys of reflux!  

It takes me about two hours to put Vivienne down to bed at night.  We've tried putting her down awake, but it doesn't work.  And unlike Madeline, who usually fell asleep while nursing, Vivi wakes right back up when she's done.  She's also a very light sleeper, which is unfortunate when you have an older sister who has been having nightmares all week, and you live in a nearly 150 year-old house with creaky floors and doors.  

Still, she usually only wakes up for one feeding during the night now before waking up for the day by 6 am.  Not too shabby.

She's been sucking on her hand a lot this week.  She's starting to figure out that those things belong to her.  

We keep trying to give her a pacifier.  It's strange because she seems to enjoy it, but you have to hold it in her mouth for her.  The second we let go, her tongue thrusts it right back out, and then she searches for it.  It's almost like she doesn't know how to use it.  Maybe it's because she's only been fed from a bottle once in her life.  Rubber nipples are not her strong suit.  

I really have to make it a goal to pump and bottle feed her over the next month.  I love nursing her, but I'd like to be able to leave her for more than two hours on occasion.  

Vivi is a total Mumma's girl.  She doesn't find much comfort in anyone else...even Eric.  I suppose this will probably be a bigger issue with Vivi than it was with Madeline because Maddie was in daycare starting at three months, and Vivi will not be.  She is in my arms almost all hours of the day.  

I love that she smiles at me first thing in the morning.  Her eyes sparkle, and her legs flail about.  I'm not sure if it's me or the food she's excited about, but I'll take it.  

Lastly, Vivi is so long and skinny.  Her three months clothes fit in length, but she's swimming in them in terms of girth.  No big, jolly baby belly this time around.  

I can't wait for spring to arrive so I can get this little lady some fresh air!  

Faces

Vivi's head is getting huge.  I mean, so is the rest of her body.  She doesn't have an abnormally large noggin.  Still, I used to be able to wrap my hand around her entire head, and now I can't.  

Look at those chubba cheeks! Growing babies make me happy!

Vivi: Ten Weeks

Vivienne's hair is taking on a reddish hue.  Her eyebrows are red, and in the sun, her whole head looks red.  Other times it still looks completely brown.  I don't think she'll be a full-blown redhead like her sister, but she might end up with a darker auburn.  We'll see.  Can't keep that ginger gene at bay in this family. 

She's been a tad fussy again this week.  Her tummy is bothering her again, (lots of spit up) and she has a stuffy nose, which makes it difficult for her to stay comfortable.  Poor kiddo.  

She sleeps well at night, and she's up for much longer stretches during the day.  She insists on sitting up most of the time.  She gazes in wonder at her big sister skipping around.  She loves to talk.  

This is a funny stage for infants.  She's no longer a newborn who does nothing but sleep, but she's still too young to play for very long. I find that I rotate her through different "stations" during the day.  Okay, let's lay on your mat.  Now let's talk on the couch.  Okay, here's your swing.  Now let's bounce.  Repeat.  

Vivi's also a bit of a drama queen.  She lets everyone know when she's not happy.  She put the entire supermarket on high alert last week.  She was so mad being stuck in her seat.  And if she's sad, her cry sounds like a million broken hearts.  Sometimes she bursts into tears mid smile.  She's quite sensitive.  

Overall, Vivi's a delight.  Life is getting easier again.  We're falling into routines.  Love my little family!