Cool As A...

It's week 26, and baby is the size of an...

English Hothouse Cucumber!


Not just ANY cucumber mind you, an ENGLISH HOTHOUSE cucumber. I hope she's a little thicker than a cucumber though... otherwise she'll look like a bowling pin!

Meanwhile, I'm the size of a...

On Being Heckled at Walgreens

While standing at the cash register at Walgreens buying a bag of cat food.

Me: Oh look, Crackerjacks! Can we get them?

Eric: Sure, I guess. Is that what you're going to eat for dinner?

Me: No, obviously I'll eat real food too...

Woman at Register: (Laughs) Oh boy, you better get her those crackerjacks.

Me and Eric: (Laughing to be nice.)

Woman: Good thing it's a big bag. Maybe you can stop and get a McChicken on your way home too. She's gonna eat everything. Oh boy, better make sure she doesn't tear into the bag of cat food on the way home and start eating that.

Eric: (Laughing nervously with a look at me as if wondering if I'm going to hit him if he keeps laughing.)

Me: (Death glare at both Eric and Walgreen's Lady.)

Woman: Ha ha! She HUNGRY!! Have a good night!

Back in the car...

Eric: I love coming to this Walgreens...everyone who works here is so strange.

Me: Hardy-har lady, I get it, I'm fat! At least I'm not ugly and work at Walgreens.

Eric: .....wow...

Me: Ohh, that was really mean wasn't it? Oops, I feel bad. I take it back. Sorry Walgreens lady. (Try to open bag with my teeth.) Dammit! Why won't this bag of crackerjacks open?!?!?

I Can't Wait to...

Bring baby to Vermont!



Eric and I are very lucky because, not only do we have the summers off, but we also have really great places to visit. My parents have a cabin on Lake Champlain in Vermont, and Eric's parents have a house in Montauk, NY. ( I know, we're quite spoiled.)

We spent the weekend up in Vermont eating good food, relaxing in the sun, reading in the rain, and taking in the beautiful scenery. It's so nice and relaxing there!

I like to picture baby splashing in the lake or sitting in the little, child-sized orange chair my parents have out on the deck. A year from now she'll probably still be too small to plop in the kayak with daddy, but we've started thinking about that too.

We've got such fun times ahead, and I can't wait to take her on lots of adventures!

Week 25

It's week 25 and our little family is still pushing ahead at full steam. I can't believe I'm in month six. Only three months left! It's pretty wild to think that at the end of this little social experiment we're going to have like, you know, an infant to take care of and stuff.

The first week of summer vacation is always a bit "tough" because I feel guilty if we aren't doing something every second of the day. I'm sure by next week I'll be eating bonbons and lounging on the couch watching reruns of Law and Order without even the slightest twinge of regret. It just takes some time to mentally prepare for such laziness. Meanwhile, I'm sure I'm driving Eric nuts with lots of little mini projects and errands to complete. He's being a very good sport though.

We also bought a video camera this week so we can record the important milestones of our future offspring. I figure you can't fully scar your teenage children for life unless you have home movies of them taking baths and pooping on the potty for the first time to show their friends.

The best thing about the new camera?? It has a time-lapse feature! I've time lapsed myself rearranging the bookshelves by color (don't ask), the cat watching the birds, and Eric watching the TV. Yes, I realize that I'm a total nerd...but I'm okay with that.

We put the crib together on Father's Day. (And by "we," I mean mostly Eric.) It looks great. I'm happy with the blue color. The room is starting to look like cotton candy threw up all over it, which was the look I was going for actually.

Lucky for you, our new time-lapse video camera makes it possible for you to be part of the action! I know it's pretty riveting stuff...

I don't quite know how to use the new video camera or imovie yet, so the video is a bit lame, but I tried.

The Human Cornucopia!

It's week 25, and depending on which website you consult, baby is currently the size of an...

Eggplant!

Or a...
Rutabaga!


Meanwhile, I'm the size of a...

I Can't Wait to...

Bring baby to the aquarium!




Then I can be one of the pushy parents throwing elbows so my kid can see the starfish. Also, then we won't be the only adults visiting the aquarium without children. I love summer vacation!

Mommy's Little Esther Williams

Whenever baby starts rolling around a lot in there, I picture her synchronized swimming in a large goldfish bowl. She playfully does the backstroke and underwater somersaults. She merrily points her toes over her head before diving back to the bottom. She even wears a miniature petal swimming cap and nose plugs. Of course, all of this is done while the song "The Beautiful Briny Sea" from Bedknobs and Broomsticks plays in the background. "It's lovely bobbing along, bobbing along on the bottom of the beautiful briny sea..." She is a very happy baby when she does this, and she just goes about her routine blissfully unaware that there's a larger world outside of the goldfish bowl.


P.S. I just watched the underwater scene from Bedknobs and Broomsticks. I used to love that movie when I was kid, but as an adult, it seems very strange. A spinster witch-in-training, the three street urchins she's adopted, and a con man ride a bed to far-away lands and then fight Nazis??? Hmmmm