30 Weeks

How far along? 30 weeks and 6 days

Total weight gain/loss: Around 20 pounds give or take :)

Stretch marks? Nope! Hoo-ray! Let's not talk about the veins on my legs though...

Sleep: Difficult. It's getting more and more uncomfortable.

Best moment this week: Sitting in the chair in baby's room imagining all the fun adventures we're going to have with her.

Movement: I'm starting to figure her out. Two days of quiet followed by one day of Par-TAY!

Food cravings: Just about anything as long as it's edible. I've been especially prone to eating chicken salad and ice cream.

Labor Signs: None yet, thank goodness! Stay in there little nugget you've got some more marinating to do.

Belly Button in or out? Out! It's so gross. You can see it through my clothes. Blech....

What I miss: Sleeping on my back.

What I am looking forward to: Our birthing class a week from today!

Weekly Wisdom: Don't even try to go out in hot weather. Also, drink lots of chocolate chip frappuccinos.

Milestones: I feel like 30 weeks is a milestone in itself. Only ten weeks left! Can't wait to meet you little baby.

Crap I Spill On My Belly

Yet Another Grump-tastic Afternoon!

This sign was on the back of my cereal box the other day. I feel it's appropriate because someone has a serious case of the Ogres this week. And no, it's not Eric or the Dizzy cat. It's me.

I put the sign on our front door the other day to warn Eric of his impending doom. I didn't care about what the neighbors thought. They already keep their distance because two Halloweens ago I accidentally slammed the door in the face of the five-year-old boy across the hall when he came to our door trick-o-treating. It was a complete misunderstanding!! Still, word must have gotten out that a crazy redhead lives here because last year we didn't get any trick-o-treaters at all.

Now my pregnancy hormones are making me an extra-crazy fat redhead. I feel like I have Seasonal Affective Disorder except aren't you supposed to get that in the winter??? Yesterday, around 4 PM, I went absolutely stir crazy and had to get out of the house "N-O-W!" before I got all Jack Nicholson from The Shinning. Eric-the-wonder-boyfriend brought me to Starbucks and bought me a chocolate-chip frappuccino because (once again) Eric has learned to feed me whenever I get cranky. It worked.

Today we were supposed to go to the beach where I was looking forward to sitting with my feet in the water and letting my freckles marinate thus giving me the illusion of a tan. BUT, this morning the news told us it was going to thunderstorm all day. (For the record, it did NOT thunderstorm, and it's currently very hot and sunny out. That's what comes from watching the news!)

Instead, we decided to go into Boston for the day so I could check out a ridiculously trendy and overpriced baby store that I heard about. We didn't buy anything there because we're not trendy enough, but it sure was fun to look.

All was well through lunch, but then we decided to leave the air-conditioned sanctuary of the mall for some outdoor window shopping/gawking. Once the heat hit me, my legs swelled, my hair frizzed, and my face turned the color of freshly stomped grapes. And, the last place you want to feel like you're playing the title role in Attack of the Killer Tomato is a trendy area like Newbury Street. I kept looking at the storefronts and thinking, "Wow, I wish I had $200 and a WAIST so I could wear those skinny jeans."

Therefore, we decided to cut the afternoon short and head back to the train. This made me even more grumpy because I WANTED to hang out longer. I WANTED to window shop and sit on the common and mosey back to the train slowly...and enjoy myself dammit! Still, my body was making that impossible. Everything hurt. My melon belly hurt, my teeth hurt for some reason, and most of all my legs hurt.

I know there are pregnant ladies out there who run marathons. There are probably still pregnant ladies in parts of this world who pop out kids in fields, strap them to their backs and get back to work. Well, I give those ladies my undying respect because honestly, I'm a whiny little wimp who can't even window shop for more than two hours without feeling like my cankles are going to explode.

To further complicate the situation, we passed through Fanuiel Hall on our way back to the train because we're complete morons obviously. What better place for a cranky, fat pregnant lady to go than a hot, crowded tourist trap where the bathrooms just may be one of Dante's levels of hell?

Luckily, there was a Starbucks there, and Eric still has gift cards from his darling students. Another chocolate chip frappuccino was consumed. This time it didn't help. Poor Eric was subjected to me snapping at him for looking at me and listening to me badmouth every annoying person we saw on the train. My bad mood stayed in place the entire train ride home and didn't subside until I was safely cocooned in our air conditioned apartment.

Lesson Learned: If I stay at home all day, I'll be cranky. If I try to go out and have fun, I'll be cranky. So, what's a pregnant lady in search of a good time supposed to do for the next ten weeks?


(Arrgggh! I'm a Krampus!)

How Big is Baby??

It's the big 3-0, and baby is the size of a...

Cabbage!


Meanwhile, I'm the size of an...

Entire cabbage patch!

OMG I Totally Look Like Mrs. Shrek!

I just opened a new box of Cheerios and found a toy in it!

Do you know how long it's been since I've found a toy in my cereal!?! And, even when you do get toys in your food these days they're always lame so that kids can't choke on them. Like the Susan B. Anthony picture I got in my box of Cracker Jacks. Thanks a lot Cracker Jacks...what kid (or almost-thirty-year-old woman) wouldn't want a mini picture of Susan B. Anthony in her caramel corn??

But this prize is pretty cool. It's a Shrek highlighter which will totally come in handy for correcting kids' papers and such. I even got to put the stickers of his face on the marker to make it look like Shrek! If only it was a Fiona highlighter because I've decided that I kinda look like her. But at least it was Shrek and not that stupid cat. (Sorry, Antonio...Loves!)

I was so excited to find my prize that I did a little dance around my kitchen that closely resembles my pee dance. Eric isn't home, so the only person I had to share my enthusiasm with was Dizzy the cat. He was not amused by my prize or my pee dance.

But anyhow, all of this leads me to ask...Am I really mature enough to have a child? And, when I have said child, would it be wrong of me to keep the cereal prizes for myself?

(See the resemblance? )

I Can't Wait To...

Bring baby to Folk Festival next year!

Every year the folk festival comes to town and disrupts our lives for a few days since it is literally set up in our front yard. All the downtown streets are shut off, which means it's very difficult (if not sometimes impossible) to get out of our parking lot. This year, there was even a beer garden blocking our driveway!

Eric had a beer there just so he could say he drank in our parking lot. What's more awkward than a fat pregnant lady standing in a beer garden? Possibly a fat pregnant lady standing outside the fence of a beer garden taking pictures of her baby-daddy while he tries to enjoy his beer.


(The picture is really dark because my flash didn't turn on, and I felt too ghetto standing there taking pictures to take the time to fix it.)

Luckily, folk festival is a lot of fun so we don't usually mind being trapped there. The centerpiece of the weekend is, of course, the music. The award for most interesting act this year goes to...Kosher Gospel. Very interesting. All the art galleries are open, and there are booths set up with people selling their crafts. Best of all, there's food!! Lots and lots of foods from all the different cultures in the area. Want Asian? Got it! Want soul food? Check! Greek? Yes, sir! A good ol' American hot dog? But, of course!



As you can see, I ate ALL the food. I think there should always be a fried dough stand set up at the end of our driveway. Just saying...the city should consider it.

On Saturday morning, we walked around and looked at all the art before it got too hot out. We scored two great toys for baby's enjoyment. Not only are they both adorable, but I like that I'll be able to look at them and remember that I bought them at folk fest.

The colorful sock dolls were made by a woman named Arlette Laan. They're machine washable so baby can drool all over them. The giraffe marrionette was handcarved by Fish River Crafts in Maine. I don't suppose this will be a very interesting toy for baby, but it looks really cool in her room.

On Sunday, we got to the main stage early and set up our chairs in the shade. It was beautiful out, and we spent several hours sitting there listening to all the great music.

I was on baby high alert and spent more time watching the babies frolicking on the grass than I did watching the bands. While last year I saw babies and thought, "That should have been us," this year I kept thinking, "Next year that will be us." I can bring baby to the park and let her roll around on a blanket in the sunshine. I can show her the doggies and the balloons and the other babies and the different instruments on the stage. I can dress her in a cute outfit and let everyone "Ooo" and "Ahhh" over her. Best part is, if baby gets fussy...it's only a one minute walk back to our apartment. It'll be great! Next year, I won't mind being trapped at home at all.

Week 29

(My concerned mom called me this morning because I haven't posted a new blog in five days, so I figured I better get on it.)

If what they say about babies developing a taste for whatever the mother eats while she's pregnant is true, then baby is going to come out asking for Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I sure have been eating a lot of it.

This week was pretty busy for us considering we've been doing a whole lot of nothing this summer. We went to a friend's lovely wedding, drove to the Brimfeild antique fair, and I went on a mini girl's vacation to Vermont with Amy for a few days.

We were only in Vermont for two days, but in that time, I ate Ben and Jerry's ice cream on three separate occasions. We went to the factory on our drive up, drank coffee fraps while waiting for a rainstorm to pass in Burlington, and I ate some of the Cherry Garcia (mmmm, best flavor ever!) my parents left in the freezer for breakfast. The only reason there was any ice cream left in that freezer at the end of our trip was because there simply were not enough hours in the day for me to eat it all.

Baby has been continuing to kick and grow. She was kicking so hard last night that I could feel an outline of a little baby foot (or maybe it was an elbow) in my side. Eric even got to feel it. Very cool. So far she's been pretty quiet this morning...I think she's all tuckered out from her disco adventures last night.

Meanwhile, I'm back to feeling tired all the time and plan to spend some time with baby napping on the couch!