Mother-Daughter Outings

My life now revolves around tiny accomplishments.  Hooray- we got her in her stroller!  Hooray- she waited more than an hour to eat.  Hooray- she pooped eight times today!  Hooray- I managed to find time to shower!

This week I had the biggest tiny accomplishment so far.  I took Madeline out in public by myself!  Eric and I have taken her to the store and to the doctor's and even out to eat once, but besides a quick walk around the neighborhood, I had never been out with her myself.  On Tuesday, I took her to Barnes and Noble to pick up some parenting books I wanted.  The wonderful Ms. Call met us there for a cup of coffee as well.

Before leaving for the store, I had been petrified that something would go wrong.  I imagined not being able to get her car seat out of her stroller and back into the car.  I imagined my car breaking down by the side of the road.  I imagined Madeline screaming bloody murder the entire time we were out.  None of those things happened.  Madeline slept, well, like a baby, and I was able to enjoy a peaceful hour sipping coffee in the cafe.

This tiny accomplishment made me very happy.  I suddenly feel less trapped and more confident in my parenting abilities.  I will not turn into a mole person in our apartment after all!

I know someday Madeline will indeed throw a fit in public, but hopefully by the time that happens, I will be better equipped to handle it.  For now, just the fact that I know how to use her stroller and car seat makes me smile from ear to ear.  And I picture many mother-daughter outings in the future...perhaps to places more glamorous than Barnes and Nobles. (If that's even possible.)

Of course, Madeline cancelled out her good behavior in the store with a refusal to sleep that night.  Throughout the night, I again questioned my parenting abilities.  Maybe the caffeine from the coffee was keeping her awake?  The next morning she slept like a log with a little wicked smile on her face.  I think she wanted to let me know that she's still the one calling the shots.  

Don't get too cocky, Momma.  I still own you.  

Two Weeks

Madeline is two weeks old today, and boy is she growing up fast!

What We Now Know About Madeline:

1.  She's surpassed her birth weight.  As of last Friday, she weighed 7 lbs. 6 oz.
2. She's outgrown her littlest onesies already, but is still too small for the majority of her clothes.
3. She communicates through a series of grunts and growls.  If I didn't know better, I would assume she was being raised by wolves.
4. She always seems so serious.  We've decided that she has an old soul.
5.  Her poops are not as smelly as they used to be.  (Or maybe we're just getting used to it?)
6. She has one good fussy period a day where she can't get comfortable and cries to eat even though she may have just eaten two minutes earlier.
7.  She's a good sleeper (knock on wood.)  She wakes up three times during the night to eat, but then usually goes right back to sleep.
8.  She lost her umbilical cord stump!
9.  She likes to curl up against the side of the bassinet when she's sleeping.  It doesn't matter where we place her, that's where she ends up.
10.  She does not like sponge baths...the jury is still out on air baths.  We haven't tried a bath bath yet.
11.  She's changing before our very eyes.  She looks like a completely different baby than she did two weeks ago.  I guess what everyone says about children growing up so fast is true.

Madeline on her birthday

Madeline two weeks later

So Long, Belly Bump

It's bizarre to think that if Madeline had come on her due date, I would still just be a fat pregnant lady eagerly counting down the days until October 3.  

And the last nine months?  Well, they kind of feel like they never happened.  My entire pregnancy feels like some long forgotten dream already.  Was it really only two weeks ago that I was peeing into a large orange jug?! Impossible!  It feels like it was years.  

Everything has changed with the flip of a light switch.  Now, I find myself a real mother taking care of a little miniature human who is far more demanding than anyone her size logically should be. 

And while I'm very happy to have my little Madeline, I actually (believe it or not) kinda miss being pregnant.  I won't miss the sausage legs, or the mood swings, or waddling up the hill to my car.  I will miss my big round belly, and feeling her kick, and having the afternoon to daydream by myself.  

Luckily, I took lots of pictures and obsessively wrote on this blog over the past few months, so I will have lots of memories of growing Madeline.  

Ellis Jane

In the midst of all our joy, I want to also remember our first-born daughter, Ellis Jane, who was born two years ago today.  


I can't believe it's been two years.  We love and miss you, sweet baby girl.  

Madeline's Birth Story

(Warning: This post is extremely long.  I tried to edit as much as I could, but there's just soooooo much to say about Madeline's big debut.)

I headed to work with a positive attitude last Tuesday morning.  I had felt terrible all day Monday and had been nervous about the possibility of an induction.  However, after finding out that everything looked absolutely fine at the doctor's, I was mentally preparing myself for three more weeks of pregnancy.  I decided to put on my game face for the remaining time instead of whining about being fat and miserable.  That's why on Tuesday I actually put on a cute outfit instead of just throwing on the first thing I saw that would fit me.  I spent time blow drying my hair, I put on some makeup, and headed to work.

As it turns out, Madeline had plans of her own, and they didn't involve waiting three more weeks.  You can imagine my shock and utter embarrassment, when I walked into Dunkin Donuts only to have my water break in front of God and everybody.   That's right.  I'm one of those women.  I had one of those embarrassing water-breaking moments that all the baby books tell you only happen in Hollywood.  How appropriate for a fat pregnant lady like me to have it happen in Dunkin Donuts of all places...

After I started to realize what was happening, I made a mad dash for the bathroom, but a regular customer called to me that I needed a key.  I made a mad dash for the key, but in my desperation, it took me a few seconds to get the key to work.  By the time I actually made it into the bathroom, it was too late, and I left a giant puddle on the floor.

I considered asking a woman in scrubs sipping her coffee for help, but I guess my fight or flight response took over because I decided to flee out of there faster than any pregnant lady has fled before.  I don't know what the other customers thought, and I hope someone behind the counter decided to clean that mess up.  Needless to say, I will not be going to that Dunkin Donuts ever again.  

At this point, I wasn't having any cramps or contractions so I called Eric and calmly drove myself home.

It was around 7 am when I walked into our apartment, and the doctor's office doesn't open until 8.  Much to Eric's chagrin, I told him we were waiting until the office opened to call.  I wrapped myself in a towel and sat on the bathroom floor.  That was not okay with Eric.  He was ready to get to the hospital NOW.  To make him feel better, I called the doctor.  Eric was right.  The doctor told me to get into the car and get to the hospital because traffic is heavy at that time in the morning.

The contractions started in the car.  They came on quickly and intensely.  I had been against the idea of creating a birth plan on the grounds that I wouldn't know what I wanted to do until I was actually in the moment.  Well, on the way to the hospital I knew what I wanted.  I wanted drugs, and planned on letting the nurses know that as soon as we walked in the door.

Due to traffic, it took us about 40 minutes to get to the hospital.  I timed my contractions, listened to my Birthin Baby playlist, and tried to focus on the beautiful, sunny fall day we were having.

Our nurse was waiting for us at the door when we got there.  (P.S. I'm pretty sure I went to high school with said nurse, but I thought it would be really awkward to say anything to her about it.  I'm assuming she either didn't recognize me, or had the same attitude as I did.  She was great either way.)

Moments Before Madeline's Arrival.
I think the expression in my
eyes is best described as, "Yikes!"

She put me to bed and got me ready for the epidural.  Eric did exactly what the lady in our birthing class told us every man does (and should not do)...he watched the monitor and announced the size and length of the contractions just in case I was curious.  I told him I didn't need to watch the monitor since, you know, I was the one feeling them.

Still, Eric was great.  After all the fear and worries he had in the months leading up to labor, he was a brick during the actual process.  He held my hand, rubbed my neck, and offered words of encouragement.

I'd also like to proudly state that I did not once moo like a cow.  I may have whimpered here and there, but I got through each contraction by breathing deep and focusing on the fact that they wouldn't last forever.  All the positive visualization stuff we had learned about in the birthing class?  It all went out the window.  I didn't even occur to me to try visualizing myself on a beach.  I knew damn well where I was.  

Once I got the epidural, things were pretty uneventful.  I felt better after a few minutes, and it amused Eric that now I was interested in the monitor since I no longer knew when I was having a contraction.  Eric went to get some food while I took a nap.  My parents arrived.  Eric's parents arrived from New York in record speed.  And before I knew it, the nurse was telling me that I was just about ready to have the baby.

The actual pushing part was very quick...only about forty minutes.  The nurse and Eric got me started, and when it was time, the doctor came in to finish the job.  I couldn't feel anything except for a lot of pressure.  I was worried my eyeballs were going to come out of my sockets.  A week later my tailbone is still making it impossible for me to sit on hard surfaces.  

One of our first glimpses of Madeline

Then, there she was.  Little Madeline was thrust on my stomach where she lay very still for a moment before suddenly letting out a weak cry.  Eric was also crying.  I was smiling in disbelief.  (Did we really just have a baby?  We've been waiting for over two years for this! Is this really happening?)

Madeline was crying when they placed her in my arms, but as soon as she heard my voice she stopped, opened her eyes very wide and looked straight at me.  Then she looked at Eric.  After months of hearing us, she was seeing us for the first time.  And after months of feeling her bopping around in there, we were really seeing her for the first time.  There are no words....it's surreal.  

The nurses cleaned her up and oooed and ahhhed over how pretty she is.  One of the nurses commented on her red hair.  "Her hair is red?!" I asked.  When I had been holding her, I thought it was brown.  "Oh yes, it sure is red," the nurse replied.

Because she was three weeks early and her cry was a little weak, the nurses let us know that they would be taking her to the nursery to get her lungs checked out.  They cleaned her up, and handed her to me for a quick cuddle before taking her away.

Eric went with her while I finally got to eat some peanut butter toast. (After all, I never did get my breakfast that morning.)   Luckily, Madeline was fine, and she was returned to me about an hour later where she was greeted by many kisses and cuddles by her mommy, daddy, and grandparents.

Our new little family

Madeline was born in the course of a work day.  My labor started at 7 am when I'm usually arriving at work.  She was born at 1:58 pm.  We get out of school at 2.  She also chose a day when my favorite doctor was working so he was able to deliver her.  We also were in room 6, which is my lucky number.  All good signs that Madeline is going to be a very easy, punctual, obedient child...with a slight flair for the dramatic.  Sure, Dunkin Donuts wasn't great...but if she had waited another hour, it could have happened at work in front of many teenagers, which would have been waaay worse.

Now it's been a whole week since she was born already.  I still feel like I'm living in a surreal fog.  Wow, we're really parents now.  Wow, we're responsible for this little being.  Wow, she's absolutely everything I ever dreamed about.  And I know that we'll tell the story of Dunkin Donuts and Madeline's birth for years and years to come.

One Week

Today Madeline is one week old!

 We've learned how to dress, bathe, and diaper her.  We've learned how to get her wide awake for feedings, and how to soothe her to sleep when she cries.  We've taken her to the doctor, for walks, to the store, and even out to lunch!  

Most of all, we've been getting to know our little girl.

What we now know about Madeline 

1. She has strawberry red hair.  (Although sometimes it looks more blonde or even brown.) 
2. She keeps her hands on her face when she's eating.  
3. She makes little cooing noises and high-pitched squeals. 
4. She looks like her daddy.  
5. She has jaundice, but she's getting better. 
6. She sleeps A LOT...except between midnight and 4 am when she refuses to sleep at all.  
7. She has blue eyes.  
8. She likes to go for rides in her car seat.  
9. No matter how many times you place her on her back, she will end up on her side.  
10. She makes lots of funny faces.  
11. She has really smelly poops.  
12. Two to three times a day she will become very alert and spend a long time looking around the room.  
13. She does ballet dancer poses where she very gracefully lifts one arm above her head while pointing her toes.  
14. When you take her out in public, you become an instant celebrity because everyone wants to meet her.  

Mommy's Little Pumpkin

On second thought...maybe Madeline is a plant after all.  Maybe she's a pumpkin.  Our poor little girl has a pumpkin-y complexion today because she's jaundiced. (Very common in babies so I've been told.  I was jaundiced when I was born too.)

We've been going to have her bilirubins tested everyday.  Sadly, the levels have gone up instead of down since we've been home.  The pediatrician told us we don't have anything to worry about at this point, but we're just watching it to make sure.

In the meantime, what were doctor's orders?

Keep her well hydrated, take her out into the sunlight twice a day, and leave her in the window as much as possible.  

Aren't those the same directions for taking care of a plant?

So, currently Madeline is soaking up the rays from her car seat, which we have strategically placed in the window.  Good thing we have big windows.  Also, good thing she likes to sleep in her car seat so much.