How to Alienate Pregnant People

My love for Dunkin Donuts is such that Madeline was almost born in one.  Okay, not really, but my water did break while waiting in line for a morning bagel.  I know.  It's gross.  Get over it.

So imagine my disappointment when Eric came back to our car with only one pink and orange bag the other morning instead of the four I was expecting.

"I couldn't get your donuts or Madeline's bagel because they ran out," he explained quickly lest I eat him.

Um, what?!  I'm sorry, but the name is Dunkin DONUTS.  What was I supposed to dunk in my coffee instead?   Low fat blueberry muffins?  Egg sandwiches?  I think not, Dunkin Donuts.  I think not.

All I know is there must have been a lot of cranky customers on Monday morning, but none as cranky as the hungry pregnant lady.

Luckily, there is a rule in Massachusetts that states that one can not drive for more than five minutes in any direction without encountering a new Dunkin Donuts.  We're extra lucky because the next Dunks was only two minutes away instead of five.  That's why we pay so much in taxes.  Of course, our town also has a rule against drive-thrus...but that's a whole separate pregnancy rant.

At our second stop, Eric came out of the store with two new bags and flashed me a solid thumbs-up.  Success.

So listen, Dunks, you are lucky that you have started offering the French crullers again in this area because that was a dirty trick to play on me.  And although your crullers are so soggily delicious, I just don't think I could handle a betrayal like that again.

That was low, man.  Way low.

P.S.  Happy birthday to my sweet husband who puts up with a lot.