Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Madeline has started sleeping in her own crib at night.  Her own crib.  In her own room.  Alllllll the way across the apartment from our bedroom.  Big. Deal.   

On the first night that she was in her own room, I was prepared for battle.  I expected tears.  I expected her to toss and turn all night.  I expected to get out of bed repeatedly to comfort her.  I told myself to be strong, and to keep putting her back in her crib no matter how tired I was.  

As it turns out, Madeline slept through that first night in her crib without so much as a whimper.

I was worried Madeline would feel alone and abandoned when we moved her to her own room.  Instead, The Maddie Bear is just fine being on her own, while I feel alone and abandoned.    

As I stared misty-eyed at her empty co-sleeper last night, this is what I imagined Madeline saying to me:

"Mumma, I'm sorry, I just can't sleep in my bassinet anymore.  It's not you, it's me...

I just need some space...

I need to learn what it's like to be own my own, ya know?  

I just can't sleep well knowing you're only a few feet away worrying about me...

I know it may sound a little bit quirky, but I just really like a big bed...that co-sleeper is just not big enough...

But really, Mumma, believe me, It's not you....it's me!"  

Yup, my baby totally dumped me.  

It's not that I'm not happy that Madeline is in her own room.  Really, I am.  It's not like she could stay in our room forever....that would be totally weird.  Besides, I am enjoying the luxury of being able to turn my lamp on at night again.  It's just that she's growing up sooooo quickly.  

This week she's moving into her own bedroom, next week she'll be moving to college.  Then she'll probably graduate and get a great job in California and I'll never see her again.  

Sniff.  Sniff, sniff.  Sob.

Sweet dreams baby girl.  

Napping on the couch....before she dumped me.