Things You Should Not Say to Your Pregnant, Redheaded Wife

There are probably many things men should not say to the pregnant women in their lives.  Things like, “You’re overreacting,” or “You have no idea how tired I am today,” or “Did you just eat another slice of pie?” 

Luckily, although I sometimes catch Eric giving me the side eye as I struggle to get into my pants, he’s very sympathetic toward my swollen state.  He doesn’t judge the amount of pie I eat.  In fact, he even brings home cake on occasion.  Still, he’s not a perfect human being, and sometimes, he says stupid things. 

Over the weekend, I was lounging on the couch like a much cuter version ofJabba the Hut, daydreaming aloud about what baby girl might look like when Eric piped up with the following:  

"Groan. I hope we don't have another redhead. We've had enough."

I blinked…twice…and resisted the urge to slap him. (Mostly because slapping him would require getting up, and by the time I waddled his way, he'd have had plenty of time to duck anyway.) 

In a tone that I hoped communicated that he was treading in very dangerous waters, I reminded him that his two favorite people are redheads and that he should count himself very lucky. 

Besides, what did he mean by, "We’ve had enough?" Enough what?  Enough awesome?  I know he didn't mean enough sunscreen.

He tried to explain himself while I glared across the room.  He wants baby girl to be special, he argued.  He doesn’t want just another redhead thrown into the mix. 

I was unconvinced.  “Redheads are special!” I cried. 

Later that night, after eating some cheesecake that I refused to share with my own child, I began to process what he said, and now I think I get it.  He loves Madeline, but he doesn’t want our second child to be a carbon copy of her. She already has to use Madeline’s old toys and wear Madeline’s old clothes, so he wants her to have something that’s her own.  Red hair might be considered rare, but when your mother and older sister are already redheads, it’s not really special anymore.  She’d be more unique with brown hair. 

Of course, if he had phrased it that way instead of groaning about the abundance of redheads in his life, I probably would have been more forgiving.  Then again, maybe not.  I hate to be a walking stereotype, but the redheaded temper, lack of patience, and stubborn tendency to be right are all qualities I possess.  Madeline is quicklyfollowing in my footsteps, so it can’t be easy for Eric to live a peaceful existence amid all those gingery emotions. 

As it is, I can't wait to meet this new little lady no matter what her hair color may be, and I know Eric feels the same way. It's going to be fascinating observing the similarities between her and Madeline, but it will be equally interesting to discover their differences.  One would think that the same set of parents would produce similar offspring, but we all know that’s not the case.  Siblings can be drastically different both in looks and personality. 

Personally, while I was open to any hair color before, I’m now routing for another redhead simply to annoy my husband.  

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