The Second Time Around

Eric and I brought Madeline to her very first pediatrician's visit without any extra diapers.  We had a flashy new diaper bag filled with burp cloths, hand sanitizer, and a wipe caddy...just no diapers. About two minutes into our appointment, Maddie needed to be changed.   Luckily, the nurse was able to scrounge up a spare and was nice enough not to slap us across the faces with it.  Such was our complete and utter cluelessness as first-time parents.

Thankfully, like so many poor slobs before us, we managed to get through it without too much lasting damage to our child.  We learned how to change her diaper without having to change her entire outfit.  We learned how to get her slippery body wrapped in a towel after her bath without dropping her.  We learned how to function on very little sleep.  It wasn't easy, and there was a steep learning curve, but somehow we managed to turn that baby into a well-adjusted three year old.  

Thanks to all that experimentation at Madeline's expense, I was able to approach parenting much more confidently this time around.  Having a baby for the first time is an intense, traumatic experience where every wayward cry is cause for concern.  Now, I don't dwell on the color of Vivi's poop nearly as often.

Basically, I got this whole parenting gig down.  Ain't no baby gonna stand in my way!    

Except, the thing about babies is that no two babies are alike.  No, not even if they're from the same barrel of genes.  So while we have an arsenal of tricks and go-to methods we picked up from raising a Maddie Bear, they don't always work for a Vivi Bear  In many ways, it's like we're first timers all over again. 

For example, Vivi is sensitive to her surroundings in a way Madeline was not.  She's a light sleeper.  She hates baths and being naked in general.  She doesn't like being held by people who are not her parents.  She won't take a bottle or pacifier. And although I can't ask her why, I suspect it's because she doesn't like the feel of a rubber nipple.  These are all issues we never had to deal with when Madeline was a baby.  

Plus, raising a baby isn't as easy this time around because we also have an older child in the house.  I can't nap when Vivi does because Madeline needs juice, or a hug, or someone to play with, or a lesson on why it's not okay to stomp one's feet next to her little sister's head.  

So while there's a level of calmness that didn't exist for my first child, managing a second is in no way easier.  It's just hard in different ways.  

On one of our first outings as a family of four, we frantically threw shoes, scarves, blankets, and hats on the girls on our way out the door.  We made sure Madeline had toys and books to keep her busy in the car. I carefully packed enough diapers to last Vivi a week, and then checked to make sure I had everything I needed a second time.

It wasn't until we arrived at our destination that I realized I had forgotten the entire diaper bag on the dining room table.