We had our birthing class yesterday. I can no longer say, "I don't know nothin bout birthin babies, Miss Scarlet." Cause I do. Almost eight hours learning about the miracle of birth. I'm hoping my actual labor will be shorter.
During the class, the mothers mostly watched with calm interest, knowing that their fate is inevitable, and one way or another, they have to do this. The dads, on the other hand, looked increasingly alarmed as the day went on. (Honey, do I really have to do this?) Poor dads.
Not that I blame them because basically giving birth is an UGLY process. You always hear people talking about the beautiful experience of labor, which is BS, because other than the end result of holding your child, there's nothing beautiful about it. Incredible? Yes. Awe-inspiring? Sure. Beautiful? Nah. It's especially NOT beautiful for people who are forced to watch it and do not have lady parts...like the dads. Ugly, very, very ugly.
Which is why I'm amazed that anyone willingly volunteers to have their labor video taped and shown over and over and over again to classes full of strangers. There they were, the Lady Gaga's of the labor world, bare bottomed and bare chested, up on their hands and knees showing us what giving birth was all about. They must have exhibitionist tendencies because I don't want anyone but God and the medical community to have to see me that way.
I kept thinking Eric was falling asleep during the videos, but then I realized he was just lowering his eyes from the screen anytime someone started mooing like a moose or asking for the mirror to watch the head come out. We've agreed that it's probably best for both of us if he stays up by my head and focuses on something non-threatening like my forehead.
Of course, after watching these videos, our instructor pulled out the epidural equipment and explained that if we choose to use drugs our labor won't look anything like the ladies' in the videos. Instead, it will be pretty uneventful because you won't feel any of it. Hmmm...decisions, decisions.
Honestly though, my current birth plan is to wing it. I don't see the point of writing up a formal plan, which apparently you're supposed to do these days. Who knows what I'm going to want until I'm there? If things are progressing quickly, and I'm coping with the pain alright, then why bother with all the IVs and stuff? But if I get in there and am absolutely miserable for hours and hours, then I see nothing wrong with a good old fashioned epidural either. It all depends on what's best for me and baby on that day.
The rest of the class was spent learning relaxation and breathing techniques. Totally awesome! I don't know why they don't teach you these things as part of your teacher's training, because I feel that it could come in handy in a lot of different situations besides labor.
We also took a tour of the birthing center which was emotional for Eric and I since it's the first time we've been back since Ellis was born there. It's kind of weird going to a place where we had such a terrible experience knowing that the next time we go there we'll have such a wonderful experience. I'm glad we did it now though so I won't be so shocked by it when we're back in October. It was more emotional than I expected it to be.
When we lost Ellis, our families and friends donated money to the hospital to buy new Ipod players for the delivery rooms. We saw them there, which was really cool.
I'm going to have to start working on my baby-birthing playlist. I'm thinking Salt n' Pepper's "Push it Real Good," or Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire." Every time the instructor said the words, "ring of fire" (which refers to the baby crowning) I started humming the song in my head...apparently I have the maturity level of a sixth grader.
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