My life now revolves around tiny accomplishments. Hooray- we got her in her stroller! Hooray- she waited more than an hour to eat. Hooray- she pooped eight times today! Hooray- I managed to find time to shower!
This week I had the biggest tiny accomplishment so far. I took Madeline out in public by myself! Eric and I have taken her to the store and to the doctor's and even out to eat once, but besides a quick walk around the neighborhood, I had never been out with her myself. On Tuesday, I took her to Barnes and Noble to pick up some parenting books I wanted. The wonderful Ms. Call met us there for a cup of coffee as well.
Before leaving for the store, I had been petrified that something would go wrong. I imagined not being able to get her car seat out of her stroller and back into the car. I imagined my car breaking down by the side of the road. I imagined Madeline screaming bloody murder the entire time we were out. None of those things happened. Madeline slept, well, like a baby, and I was able to enjoy a peaceful hour sipping coffee in the cafe.
This tiny accomplishment made me very happy. I suddenly feel less trapped and more confident in my parenting abilities. I will not turn into a mole person in our apartment after all!
I know someday Madeline will indeed throw a fit in public, but hopefully by the time that happens, I will be better equipped to handle it. For now, just the fact that I know how to use her stroller and car seat makes me smile from ear to ear. And I picture many mother-daughter outings in the future...perhaps to places more glamorous than Barnes and Nobles. (If that's even possible.)
Of course, Madeline cancelled out her good behavior in the store with a refusal to sleep that night. Throughout the night, I again questioned my parenting abilities. Maybe the caffeine from the coffee was keeping her awake? The next morning she slept like a log with a little wicked smile on her face. I think she wanted to let me know that she's still the one calling the shots.
|Don't get too cocky, Momma. I still own you.|