32

Today's my sweet sixteen times two, which means I'd be at least twice as awkward in braces. I'm pretty sure my bras from 1997 still fit though, so there's that.

I had the idea to create a Super Super Sweet Sixteen video reminiscent of the old MTV show. (I realize that show is no longer culturally relevant, but being about seven years behind the times is part of being 32). Except in my version, I'd roll into my driveway in my 2009 Toyota Corolla, try on some sweet threads from Target, and top it all off with a killer VIP from my couch watching New Girl and guzzling box wine. Whatever, you're just jealous.

As it turns out, being 32 also means you're too tired to do a damn thing... So when my bestie pointed me toward the "32" parody of Taylor Swift's "22," I was thrilled that somebody had already done the work for me.

This video pretty much sums up my existence. Except in my world there'd be a toddler poking chop sticks up my nose and refusing to sleep.