Money Maker

I've been thinking that I could turn Madeline's drooling problem into a lucrative new business.

What if I could sell baby drool as an anti-aging face cream??  

Before you recoil in disgust, consider:  

People are willing to do just about anything to appear younger than they actually are. I mean, come on, people are willing to cut up their faces, inject chemicals into their faces, and transplant ass fat into their faces.  Surely, in comparison, baby drool is nothing.  

Also, because babies are quite youthful, (they are babies, after all) I think I could market their drool as containing youth-creating enzymes guaranteed to make the toughest skin as smooth as a baby's bottom.  The fountain of youth in a bottle!    

Also, because this drool skin cream is created by real babies in their natural habitats, I could market it as being environmentally friendly, which is like, soooo in right now.  I could even have a special line of drool skin cream from exclusively breast-fed babies because that drool skin cream would be organic.     

Also, because each baby only drools creates youth-enhancing skin cream for a limited amount of time, that means that I could probably jack up the prices really high.  And if something is expensive, it must be good...right?  All the real housewives of (insert real city) will be lining up around the block for this stuff!  

All I have to do is get one of those bibs with the scoop at the bottom to collect all of baby's messes. If I put it on Madeline first thing in the morning, and let the drool skin cream pool up in it throughout the afternoon, I bet I'd have at least a pint of drool skin cream by the time she goes to bed.  (I won't collect drool skin cream from her during the night....poor girl deserves a break after all.  Besides, she doesn't drool produce much youth-enhancing skin cream at night.)  Since she's now teething, I might even have a gallon.  

Guys?  I'm. Going. To. Be. RICH!  

The only thing missing is a good name. Hmmm, what's a nicer way of saying, "Slather my baby's drool on your face so I can retire early?"    

Before use of Slather My Baby's Drool on Your Face so I Can Retire Early

AND

After use of Slather My Baby's Drool on Your Face so I Can Retire Early

See, having Madeline slobber on my face has done wonders for my skin!